{"id":935,"date":"2015-01-12T06:40:10","date_gmt":"2015-01-12T06:40:10","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/childandfamily.staging.properdesign.rs\/?p=935"},"modified":"2026-01-28T20:34:27","modified_gmt":"2026-01-28T20:34:27","slug":"hitting-child","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/hitting-child\/","title":{"rendered":"&#8220;I slapped my kid\u201d: Why hitting a child causes damage that may not be alleviated by cuddles and kisses"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><em>Updated on 12\/01\/26<\/em><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you believe that beating, hitting or slapping your children and then smoothing things over gradually by smothering them with love, you are mistaken. Being very warm with a child whom you hit in this manner rarely makes things better. It can actually make matters worse. It can make a child more, not less, anxious.<\/span><\/p>\n<div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_79_2 counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-custom ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title ez-toc-toggle\" style=\"cursor:pointer\">Table of Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><a href=\"#\" class=\"ez-toc-pull-right ez-toc-btn ez-toc-btn-xs ez-toc-btn-default ez-toc-toggle\" aria-label=\"Toggle Table of Content\"><span class=\"ez-toc-js-icon-con\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #121c4e;color:#121c4e\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #121c4e;color:#121c4e\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/hitting-child\/#What_our_research_looked_at\" >What our research looked at<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/hitting-child\/#When_maternal_warmth_helps_and_when_it_doesnt\" >When maternal warmth helps, and when it doesn\u2019t<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/hitting-child\/#Why_warmth_and_aggression_may_increase_anxiety_in_children\" >Why warmth and aggression may increase anxiety in children<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/hitting-child\/#Cultural_differences_and_authoritarian_parenting\" >Cultural differences and authoritarian parenting<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-5\" href=\"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/hitting-child\/#Changing_social_norms_around_physical_punishment\" >Changing social norms around physical punishment<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-6\" href=\"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/hitting-child\/#The_link_between_%E2%80%9Cmild%E2%80%9D_punishment_abuse_and_violence\" >The link between \u201cmild\u201d punishment, abuse and violence<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-7\" href=\"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/hitting-child\/#Parents_regret_and_the_belief-behaviour_gap\" >Parents\u2019 regret and the belief-behaviour gap<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-8\" href=\"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/hitting-child\/#What_the_evidence_shows\" >What the evidence shows<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-9\" href=\"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/hitting-child\/#References\" >References<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"What_our_research_looked_at\"><\/span><strong>What our research looked at<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This is one of many worrying findings from our research into whether the effects of corporal punishment are alleviated by maternal warmth. We studied over 1,000 children in 11 groups across eight countries, surveying mothers about levels of corporal punishment in the home and asking both mothers and children about childhood anxiety and aggression.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"When_maternal_warmth_helps_and_when_it_doesnt\"><\/span><strong>When maternal warmth helps, and when it doesn\u2019t<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>We had expected to find that hugs and kisses buffered the emotional impact of physical blows. Our study involving children aged 8 to 10 shows that <a href=\"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/spanking-children-hugging\/\">maternal warmth<\/a> can, indeed, lessen that impact a bit, when the child is exposed to low levels of corporal punishment. Even then, the anxiety and aggression induced in a child by such corporal punishment still remains, albeit at a lower level.<\/p>\n<p>However, our study found that love hardly ever diminished the impact of high levels of corporal punishment. Childhood anxiety is not, in these circumstances, alleviated by an otherwise very warm parent, although in countries with more <a href=\"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/harsh-parenting-effects\/\">authoritarian styles of parenting<\/a> such as Colombia and Kenya, the adverse effects of corporal punishment are less pronounced. Generally, childhood anxiety actually gets worse when parents are very loving alongside using corporal punishment.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><strong>\u201cWe can only speculate as to why this may be. Perhaps it is simply too confusing and unnerving for a child to be hit hard and loved warmly all in the same home.\u201d<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Why_warmth_and_aggression_may_increase_anxiety_in_children\"><\/span><strong>Why warmth and aggression may increase anxiety in children<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>We can speculate as to why this may be. Perhaps, children irrevocably feel rejected when they are subject to such aggression, however warm the parent may be otherwise. Or, perhaps, it is simply too confusing and unnerving for a child to be hit hard and loved warmly all in the same home. That might explain why we found that children were less anxious when a parent who hit them severely was also cool towards them emotionally.<\/p>\n<p>There is a broader warning from our research. It is that corporal punishment generally, even at a low level, leads to increased anxiety and <a href=\"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/hitting-children-reduces-literacy-skills\/\">aggression in children<\/a>. This impact worsens, the more severe the punishment.<\/p>\n<p>In general, parental love rarely completely repairs the damage, even when physical punishment is relatively slight. This is largely true across a diverse set of nations. That\u2019s why we suggest that clinicians across countries should <a href=\"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/harsh-parenting-impacts-a-childs-learning-and-behavior\/\">advise parents against using corporal punishment<\/a>, even in the context of parent-child relationships that are otherwise warm, and should assist parents in finding other ways to manage children\u2019s behavior.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Cultural_differences_and_authoritarian_parenting\"><\/span><strong>Cultural differences and authoritarian parenting<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>There is an important caveat to these findings. Results vary somewhat in countries considered to have authoritarian models of parenting, where it is considered more normal and acceptable for parents to use corporal punishment.<\/p>\n<p>In these countries, corporal punishment still increased childhood anxiety (as well as childhood aggression reported by parents) but not as much as in countries where corporal punishment is less socially acceptable.<\/p>\n<p>Also, children themselves, living amid more authoritarian parenting cultures, did not report that they became more aggressive. These findings support the theory that, in countries that have more authoritarian models of parenting, children may be less likely to interpret harsh punishment as parental rejection.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Changing_social_norms_around_physical_punishment\"><\/span><strong>Changing social norms around physical punishment<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>It is important, however, when considering this caveat, to remember that contexts around parenting are constantly changing. <a href=\"https:\/\/endcorporalpunishment.org\/countdown\/\">Since 1979<\/a>, when\u00a0<a id=\"OWA71ad96d2-8e28-97ef-f21a-c16ab93b0748\" title=\"https:\/\/blogs.loc.gov\/law\/2019\/07\/on-this-day-40-years-of-prohibition-on-disciplinary-corporal-punishment-of-children-in-sweden\/\" href=\"https:\/\/blogs.loc.gov\/law\/2019\/07\/on-this-day-40-years-of-prohibition-on-disciplinary-corporal-punishment-of-children-in-sweden\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" data-auth=\"NotApplicable\" data-linkindex=\"2\">Sweden became the first country to outlaw corporal punishment<\/a>, 69<a id=\"OWA5b5b6300-168c-9196-63ca-6aaba8c489ed\" title=\"https:\/\/brilliantmaps.com\/corporal-punishment\/\" href=\"https:\/\/brilliantmaps.com\/corporal-punishment\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" data-auth=\"NotApplicable\" data-linkindex=\"3\">\u00a0countries have followed suit<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>The number is constantly rising: corporal punishment is becoming socially unacceptable in more and more places across the world. This suggests that authoritarian social norms will diminish over time and so will have less of a moderating influence on the <a href=\"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/physical-punishment-impact-childrens-psychological-development\/\">damage done to children by harsh physical punishment<\/a>.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"The_link_between_%E2%80%9Cmild%E2%80%9D_punishment_abuse_and_violence\"><\/span><strong>The link between \u201cmild\u201d punishment, abuse and violence<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>Some people also try to frame spankings or hitting as ordinary or mild corporal punishment that is very different from physical abuse. However, research literature shows that milder forms of corporal punishment are risk factors for more severe forms of physical abuse. So, milder forms sometimes escalate into something much harsher.<\/p>\n<p>Also, where rates of corporal punishment are high, there are also higher rates for other forms of violence including homicide and domestic violence such as intimate partner abuse. Corporal punishment is part of a larger pattern of societal acceptance of violence. These are some of the reasons why the United Nations has defined any form of corporal punishment as physical abuse.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Parents_regret_and_the_belief-behaviour_gap\"><\/span><strong>Parents\u2019 regret and the belief-behaviour gap<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>We also know that many parents regret using corporal punishment. The proportion of parents who say that it is necessary to use corporal punishment to rear a child properly is smaller than the proportion that say they actually use such punishments, according to research from more than 30 countries.<\/p>\n<p>This highlights a disconnection between beliefs and behaviour. It suggests that, when parents use physical punishment, they do so not because they think it is a good childrearing strategy but perhaps because they are angry and they take those feelings out on the child in the heat of the moment.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"What_the_evidence_shows\"><\/span><strong>What the evidence shows<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>Perhaps the most compelling lesson from research is that no-one has found evidence that corporal punishment is good for children. And there are also <a href=\"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/corporal-punishment-child-discipline\/\">other ways to produce desired effects in children\u2019s behaviours<\/a>. We should focus our efforts on helping parents to understand and use these alternatives.<\/p>\n<div class=\"retrofit-references\">\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"References\"><\/span>References<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 1.8em;\"><em>\u00a0Lansford J et al. (2014), <a href=\"https:\/\/www.tandfonline.com\/doi\/pdf\/10.1080\/15374416.2014.893518\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Corporal punishment, maternal warmth, and child adjustment: A longitudinal study in eight countries<\/a>, Journal of Clinical Child &amp; Adolescent Psychology, 43.4<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 1.8em;\"><em>\u00a0Lansford JR &amp; Deater-Deckard K (2012), <a href=\"https:\/\/onlinelibrary.wiley.com\/doi\/abs\/10.1111\/j.1467-8624.2011.01676.x\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Childrearing discipline and violence in developing countries<\/a>, Child Development, 83.1<\/em><\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Research across many countries shows the childhood anxiety and aggression caused by hitting a child may not fall, and can increase, when mum is very loving.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":116,"featured_media":937,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5765,438],"tags":[43,7,605,36,27,267,272],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/935"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/116"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=935"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/935\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":22792,"href":"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/935\/revisions\/22792"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/937"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=935"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=935"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=935"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}