{"id":20573,"date":"2024-02-02T10:52:14","date_gmt":"2024-02-02T10:52:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/?p=20573"},"modified":"2024-11-29T11:44:54","modified_gmt":"2024-11-29T11:44:54","slug":"the-benefits-of-reminiscing-with-your-child","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/the-benefits-of-reminiscing-with-your-child\/","title":{"rendered":"Storytellers are made, not born: The benefits of elaboratively reminiscing with your child"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_79_2 counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-custom ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title ez-toc-toggle\" style=\"cursor:pointer\">Table of Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><a href=\"#\" class=\"ez-toc-pull-right ez-toc-btn ez-toc-btn-xs ez-toc-btn-default ez-toc-toggle\" aria-label=\"Toggle Table of Content\"><span class=\"ez-toc-js-icon-con\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #121c4e;color:#121c4e\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #121c4e;color:#121c4e\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/the-benefits-of-reminiscing-with-your-child\/#Key_takeaways_for_caregivers\" >Key takeaways for caregivers<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/the-benefits-of-reminiscing-with-your-child\/#%E2%80%9CWhat_did_you_do_in_school_today%E2%80%9D_Elaborative_reminiscing_can_yield_answers\" >\u201cWhat did you do in school today?\u201d: Elaborative reminiscing can yield answers<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/the-benefits-of-reminiscing-with-your-child\/#Elaboratively_reminiscing_benefits_childrens_language_and_socio-emotional_development\" >Elaboratively reminiscing benefits children\u2019s language and socio-emotional development\u00a0<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/the-benefits-of-reminiscing-with-your-child\/#Elaborative_reminiscing_benefits_additional_areas_of_language_and_socio-emotional_development\" >Elaborative reminiscing benefits additional areas of language and socio-emotional development<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-5\" href=\"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/the-benefits-of-reminiscing-with-your-child\/#Teaching_parents_how_to_elaboratively_reminisce\" >Teaching parents how to elaboratively reminisce<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-6\" href=\"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/the-benefits-of-reminiscing-with-your-child\/#Cultural_qualities_of_reminiscing\" >Cultural qualities of reminiscing<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-7\" href=\"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/the-benefits-of-reminiscing-with-your-child\/#How_to_elaboratively_reminisce_with_children\" >How to elaboratively reminisce with children<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Key_takeaways_for_caregivers\"><\/span><strong>Key takeaways for caregivers<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<ol>\n<li>Ask your children to remember what they did at school, other times they were away from you, or when you went on a special outing. If children cannot think of anything to say, ask more specific questions.<\/li>\n<li>Listen to what your children tell you. Ask follow-up questions, including how they felt about what happened. Avoid correcting your children about their impressions.<\/li>\n<li>These conversations can happen anytime there are moments to spare \u2013 for example, at a bus stop or in a waiting room.<\/li>\n<li>Elaborative reminiscing can support children\u2019s\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/language-development-in-infancy-mothers-fathers\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">developing language<\/a>\u00a0and literacy skills (e.g., narrative skills, vocabulary understanding, phonological awareness) and\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/social-emotional-development\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">socioemotional development<\/a>\u00a0(e.g., less anxiety and withdrawal, increased helping behaviors, better understanding and control of negative emotions, improved autobiographical memory).<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"%E2%80%9CWhat_did_you_do_in_school_today%E2%80%9D_Elaborative_reminiscing_can_yield_answers\"><\/span><strong>\u201cWhat did you do in school today?\u201d: Elaborative reminiscing can yield answers<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>Most parents, when picking up their child from school, have asked, \u201cWhat did you do in school today?\u201d and heard their child respond, \u201cNothing.\u201d What happens next depends on many factors, but mostly it depends on the parent.<\/p>\n<p>Some parents think their child just does not want to talk about their day and change the subject. Other parents challenge their child (e.g., by saying something like, \u201cNo, that was not what happened\u2026\u201d), which is usually no more successful at eliciting descriptions of the child\u2019s experiences than changing the subject. Success would be getting a child\u2019s own extended description of what happened during some experience.<\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_20574\" style=\"width: 1290px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><img decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-20574\" class=\"wp-image-20574 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/pexels-tatiana-syrikova-3850051.jpg\" alt=\"Father and child sitting near door in backyard.\" width=\"1280\" height=\"853\" srcset=\"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/pexels-tatiana-syrikova-3850051.jpg 1280w, https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/pexels-tatiana-syrikova-3850051-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/pexels-tatiana-syrikova-3850051-1024x682.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/pexels-tatiana-syrikova-3850051-768x512.jpg 768w, https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/pexels-tatiana-syrikova-3850051-356x237.jpg 356w, https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/pexels-tatiana-syrikova-3850051-700x466.jpg 700w, https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/pexels-tatiana-syrikova-3850051-50x33.jpg 50w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1280px) 100vw, 1280px\" \/><p id=\"caption-attachment-20574\" class=\"wp-caption-text\"><em>Photo: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.pexels.com\/photo\/father-and-child-sitting-near-door-in-backyard-3850051\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Tatiana Syrikova<\/a>. Pexels.<\/em><\/p><\/div>\n<p>My colleague Carole Peterson (Memorial University of Newfoundland, Canada) and I wanted to understand better what strategies parents use that can effectively get children to share something about their day.<\/p>\n<p>We conducted <a href=\"https:\/\/www.scirp.org\/reference\/referencespapers?referenceid=1738976\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">a study<\/a> in Newfoundland (Canada), with middle-class, European American families with two- to two-and-a-half-year-old children. \u00a0We found that the most successful parent strategy for eliciting information was asking specific follow-up questions, such as, \u201cWhat did you play at recess?\u201d or \u201cWhat stories did the teacher read to you?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Children of parents who asked a lot of questions about one particular topic became the best narrators over a year later, telling lengthier stories that included more key elements, such as background information and details about how situations got resolved.<\/p>\n<p>We call such parents\u00a0<em>topic extenders<\/em>.\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.academia.edu\/3651418\/Fivush_R_Haden_C_A_and_Reese_E_2006_Elaborating_on_elaborations_The_role_of_maternal_reminiscing_style_in_cognitive_and_socioemotional_development_Child_Development_77_1568_1588\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Other researchers<\/a>\u00a0have found similar results and dubbed this kind of extensive conversing between parents and children\u00a0<em>elaborative reminiscing\u00a0<\/em>or\u00a0<em>joint reminiscing.<\/em><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Elaboratively_reminiscing_benefits_childrens_language_and_socio-emotional_development\"><\/span><strong>Elaboratively reminiscing benefits children\u2019s language and socio-emotional development\u00a0<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>Peterson and I, along with Beulah Jesso (Memorial University of Newfoundland, Canada), then engaged in\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.cambridge.org\/core\/journals\/journal-of-child-language\/article\/abs\/encouraging-narratives-in-preschoolers-an-intervention-study\/CF7534A42C1CBEBB44AF35E8EFE8E91E\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">an experiment<\/a> in which we randomly assigned parents of children (average age 3 years and 7 months old) in families with low incomes to one of two conditions.<\/p>\n<p>In the first, we talked to parents about elaborative reminiscing and how important it could be to their children\u2019s language acquisition; the second was a business-as-usual control group.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><strong>Collaborative, elaborative reminiscing with children of various ages benefits the children linguistically, cognitively, emotionally, and academically.<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>After a year, despite not specifically mentioning vocabulary to parents, children in the experimental (elaborative reminiscing) group had significantly better receptive vocabulary (the ability to understand words) than those in the control group.<\/p>\n<p>After another year, they also had significantly better narrative skills. We learned that storytellers are made, not born.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Elaborative_reminiscing_benefits_additional_areas_of_language_and_socio-emotional_development\"><\/span><strong>Elaborative reminiscing benefits additional areas of language and socio-emotional development<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>Elaborative reminiscing benefits children in a variety of ways.\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.researchgate.net\/publication\/249021976_Maternal_Elaborative_Reminiscing_Increases_Low-Income_Children's_Narrative_Skills_Relative_to_Dialogic_Reading\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Research<\/a>\u00a0has shown that, in addition to improvements in children\u2019s vocabulary and narrative structure, elaborative reminiscing increases children\u2019s phonological awareness, which is critical for learning to read. Reading interactively with children\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/doi.org\/10.1177\/1086296X12460040\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">does not have the same effect<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>In addition to promoting language benefits, elaborative reminiscing affects children\u2019s socioemotional development\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/psycnet.apa.org\/doi\/10.1177\/0963721416655100\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">in many ways<\/a>, reducing children\u2019s <a href=\"https:\/\/doi.org\/10.1080\/10409289.2015.1037625\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">tendencies<\/a>\u00a0to act out or have internalizing problems (e.g., sadness, anxiety, withdrawal), and increasing their prosocial skills (e.g., being kind and helpful to others).<\/p>\n<p>Such reminiscing helps children understand their negative emotions and regulate them. Children\u2019s memory of their own lives (<em>autobiographical memory<\/em>) is also more\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/srcd.onlinelibrary.wiley.com\/doi\/10.1111\/j.1467-8624.2007.01058.x\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">coherent<\/a>.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Teaching_parents_how_to_elaboratively_reminisce\"><\/span><strong>Teaching parents how to elaboratively reminisce<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>Many different families have benefitted from learning of the importance of elaborative reminiscing. Children who live in poverty benefit; after all, elaborative reminiscing costs nothing, requires no particular accomplishment or comfort with reading books on the part of their parents, and is fun.<\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_20576\" style=\"width: 1290px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><img decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-20576\" class=\"wp-image-20576 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/pexels-ketut-subiyanto-4473812-e1701030132872.jpg\" alt=\"Mother and son lying down on the bed.\" width=\"1280\" height=\"838\" srcset=\"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/pexels-ketut-subiyanto-4473812-e1701030132872.jpg 1280w, https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/pexels-ketut-subiyanto-4473812-e1701030132872-300x196.jpg 300w, https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/pexels-ketut-subiyanto-4473812-e1701030132872-1024x670.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/pexels-ketut-subiyanto-4473812-e1701030132872-768x503.jpg 768w, https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/pexels-ketut-subiyanto-4473812-e1701030132872-356x233.jpg 356w, https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/pexels-ketut-subiyanto-4473812-e1701030132872-700x458.jpg 700w, https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/pexels-ketut-subiyanto-4473812-e1701030132872-50x33.jpg 50w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1280px) 100vw, 1280px\" \/><p id=\"caption-attachment-20576\" class=\"wp-caption-text\"><em>Photo: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.pexels.com\/photo\/photo-of-mother-and-son-lying-down-on-bed-4473812\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Ketut Subiyanto<\/a>. Pexels.<\/em><\/p><\/div>\n<p>Parents from New Zealand families of diverse backgrounds have benefited from this kind of instruction. In addition, my colleague Ashleigh Hillier (University of Massachusetts Lowell) and I have\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/doi.org\/10.1177\/1525740116669114\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">taught parents<\/a>\u00a0of teenagers on the autism spectrum to engage in elaborative reminiscing, something that the parents had not considered important but that extended parents\u2019 talk about the past with their teenaged children.<\/p>\n<p>Moreover, this type of reminiscing may even benefit children who have been maltreated by their mothers. When these mothers\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/parent-child-reminiscing-emotional-development\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">learn<\/a>\u00a0to elaboratively reminisce with their children, their children may eventually have better physiological regulation.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Cultural_qualities_of_reminiscing\"><\/span><strong>Cultural qualities of reminiscing<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>Despite the fact that observing and learning about elaborative reminiscing has been successful in a number of different cultures, parent-child talk about the past has documented some cultural differences.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/academic.oup.com\/book\/5828\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Many Asian cultures<\/a>\u00a0do not value extensive talk about an individual\u2019s past experiences. In particular, many\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/psycnet.apa.org\/doi\/10.1017\/S0305000900009867\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Japanese parents<\/a>\u00a0consider such lengthy talk unsuitable. Cultural differences in reminiscing conversations have also been found in\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/doi.org\/10.1016\/j.cogdev.2010.12.004\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Western European cultures<\/a>, such as Germany, Sweden, and Estonia.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"How_to_elaboratively_reminisce_with_children\"><\/span><strong>How to elaboratively reminisce with children<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>Parents should understand that collaborative, elaborative <a href=\"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/parent-child-reminiscing\">reminiscing with their children<\/a> at various ages benefits the children linguistically, cognitively, emotionally, and academically. In this work, parents are encouraged to accept their children\u2019s view of what happened, even if the parents have different ideas.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><strong>The more you reminisce with your child, the better they will get at doing so and the more you will foster their well-being in many areas of development.<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>I have collected examples of children\u2019s talk about going to Disney World and Disneyland. When parents asked children to tell their grandparents their favorite part of the adventure, they expected children to say \u201cmeeting Goofy\u201d or \u201cgoing on the It\u2019s a Small World ride.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Instead, children said their favorite things were experiences like the \u201cblue lights on the floor of the plane,\u201d \u201ca real dead armadillo on the side of the road,\u201d and \u201ctwo sinks in our bathroom.\u201d Parents who accept their children\u2019s point of view learn a lot about their children\u2019s thoughts and values and foster their development.<\/p>\n<p>The best times to reminisce with children include when you are eating dinner together or waiting for doctors or buses or driving somewhere together. Children especially enjoy being asked about what to them are notable events.<\/p>\n<p>For example, you might ask: Did anybody do something weird in preschool today? Did you get hurt? Do you remember what happened the last time we went to the doctor\u2019s office?<\/p>\n<p>Tell them about experiences you have had (e.g., the time you got in trouble with a teacher). The more you reminisce with your child, the better they will get at doing so and the more you will foster their well-being in many areas of development.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Key takeaways for caregivers Ask your children to remember what they did at school, other times they were away from you, or when you went on a special outing. If children cannot think of anything to say, ask more specific questions. Listen to what your children tell you. Ask follow-up questions, including how they felt [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":127,"featured_media":20575,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[435],"tags":[2,267,6],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20573"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/127"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=20573"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20573\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":21659,"href":"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20573\/revisions\/21659"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/20575"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=20573"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=20573"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=20573"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}