{"id":20481,"date":"2023-11-08T21:32:10","date_gmt":"2023-11-08T21:32:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/?p=20481"},"modified":"2024-09-27T16:49:46","modified_gmt":"2024-09-27T15:49:46","slug":"flourishing-amid-family-harmony","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/flourishing-amid-family-harmony\/","title":{"rendered":"Flourishing amid family harmony: Grandmothers in China can support children\u2019s development best when they support the mothers"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_79_2 counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-custom ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title ez-toc-toggle\" style=\"cursor:pointer\">Table of Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><a href=\"#\" class=\"ez-toc-pull-right ez-toc-btn ez-toc-btn-xs ez-toc-btn-default ez-toc-toggle\" aria-label=\"Toggle Table of Content\"><span class=\"ez-toc-js-icon-con\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #121c4e;color:#121c4e\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #121c4e;color:#121c4e\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/flourishing-amid-family-harmony\/#Key_Takeaways_for_Caregivers\" >Key Takeaways for Caregivers<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/flourishing-amid-family-harmony\/#The_number_of_and_need_for_grandparents_are_increasing_globally\" >The number of and need for grandparents are increasing globally<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/flourishing-amid-family-harmony\/#Grandparents_offer_much-needed_support_to_parents_in_China\" >Grandparents offer much-needed support to parents in China<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/flourishing-amid-family-harmony\/#Mothers_and_grandmothers_as_co-parents\" >Mothers and grandmothers as co-parents<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-5\" href=\"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/flourishing-amid-family-harmony\/#How_should_grandmothers_interact_with_mothers\" >How should grandmothers interact with mothers?<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-6\" href=\"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/flourishing-amid-family-harmony\/#Grandmothers_tend_to_avoid_conflict_so_mothers_take_the_lead\" >Grandmothers tend to avoid conflict so mothers take the lead<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-7\" href=\"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/flourishing-amid-family-harmony\/#Positive_impacts_on_childrens_development_and_family_harmony\" >Positive impacts on children\u2019s development and family harmony<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-8\" href=\"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/flourishing-amid-family-harmony\/#The_message_to_grandmothers\" >The message to grandmothers<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Key_Takeaways_for_Caregivers\"><\/span><strong>Key Takeaways for Caregivers<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<ul>\n<li>Both the availability of grandparents and the need for grandparents to support parents in caring for grandchildren are rising globally, with increasing elderly populations and growing demands for high-quality child care.<\/li>\n<li>Grandparents can be an important source of caregiving and <a href=\"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/supportive-parenting-disadvantaged-children\/\">emotional support for their children<\/a> and grandchildren.<\/li>\n<li>Grandparents in China are often co-parents, living with their adult children and being actively involved in daily caregiving for grandchildren.<\/li>\n<li>When grandmothers support mothers by avoiding conflict and letting mothers take the lead in parenting, it can promote healthy mother-child attachment and children\u2019s behavior.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"The_number_of_and_need_for_grandparents_are_increasing_globally\"><\/span><strong>The number of and need for grandparents are increasing globally<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>In most societies worldwide, the number of grandparents has risen, the result of a half century of extraordinary growth in global life expectancy. At the same time, birth rates have fallen in many countries. As a result, increasing numbers of grandparents are available to help look after fewer children.<\/p>\n<p>Families may <a href=\"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/family-level-care-grandparents\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">need grandparents\u2019 time<\/a>, experience, and skills. Child care can be expensive or unavailable, especially in infancy. Without grandparents\u2019 support, how can parents ensure that their young children receive the care they require, especially if both parents are in paid employment?<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><strong>Grandmothers remained careful not to rock the boat and to leave mothers in the lead.<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Grandparents_offer_much-needed_support_to_parents_in_China\"><\/span><strong>Grandparents offer much-needed support to parents in China<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>China highlights many of these issues. The legacy of the now rescinded one-child policy makes the predominance of grandparents especially notable: Urban Chinese families typically have a 4-2-1 characteristic &#8212; four grandparents, two parents, and one child. Confucian values, still embedded in Chinese family relationships, support clear roles and duties for parents and children, even when the latter become adults. They are meant to care for each other.<\/p>\n<h3>Career opportunities and their impact on family harmony<\/h3>\n<p>In large Chinese cities like Beijing, well-educated and highly skilled individuals are encouraged to pursue better career opportunities. But fierce competition and economic pressures take their <a href=\"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/children-time-fathers\/\">toll on overworked parents<\/a>. Moreover, kindergartens usually do not accept children under age three, meaning that families are expected to care for their young children.<\/p>\n<p>As a result, grandparents often move to the city, live with their adult children, and provide child care. This happens not only because of cultural expectations, but also so grandparents can provide instrumental and potentially emotional support to their offspring.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Mothers_and_grandmothers_as_co-parents\"><\/span><strong>Mothers and grandmothers as co-parents<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>As in many Asian countries, mother-grandmother co-parenting is common in China. Chinese grandmothers, especially when they live with their children and grandchildren, typically engage in many children\u2019s activities, including playing with children; bathing and feeding children; and putting children to bed. They also do household activities such as cleaning and preparing food.<\/p>\n<h3>The parenting differences between East and West<\/h3>\n<p>Traditional Chinese families differ from the West\u2019s matrilineal caregiving cultures, where intergenerational co-parenting is frequently done by mothers sharing the task with their own mothers. China\u2019s patrilineal system identifies the care of grandchildren as the responsibility of the <em>paternal <\/em>grandparents, many of whom live with the family or nearby. This can lead to a complication: A mother may be co-parenting with her mother-in-law.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"How_should_grandmothers_interact_with_mothers\"><\/span><strong>How should grandmothers interact with mothers?<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>This context of global changes in caregiving needs and the availability of grandparents has implications for the dynamics among generations, particularly in Asian societies. It remains important to understand the well-documented and positive impact on children\u2019s development that a good grandparent can have through the direct care they provide.<\/p>\n<h3>How grandparents can support mothers and fathers<\/h3>\n<p>We must also answer the more subtle question of how grandparents can best support mothers and fathers. Grandparents in these societies are usually part of a caring team that includes a child\u2019s mother and father. What can grandparents do to strengthen these members of the team and avoid diminishing or undermining their contributions?<\/p>\n<p>To address this question, in <a href=\"https:\/\/onlinelibrary.wiley.com\/doi\/10.1002\/cad.20442\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">our research<\/a>, we have studied families in Beijing with a total of 60 children. In this culture, grandmothers tend to have a more hands-on role than grandfathers, who may be doing tasks such as shopping. Therefore, in our work, we have focused on grandmothers, using methods of behavioral observation to explore the dynamics of family relationships and the impact of these intergenerational relationships on children\u2019s development.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><strong>Important aspects of healthy children\u2019s development are related to a harmonious relationship between grandmothers and mothers.<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Grandmothers_tend_to_avoid_conflict_so_mothers_take_the_lead\"><\/span><strong>Grandmothers tend to avoid conflict so mothers take the lead<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>According to an old Chinese saying, \u201cEverything will flourish if the family is in harmony.\u201d Our study found this to be true. In some families, grandmothers co-parented with their daughters, while in others, they co-parented with a daughter-in-law. Regardless of the relationship, grandmothers tried to maintain family harmony by avoiding confrontations.<\/p>\n<p>Mothers behaved similarly out of filial piety (i.e., respect for one\u2019s elders), particularly in the first six months of their children\u2019s lives. Subsequently, mothers tended to take a more commanding role as principal caregiver in the co-parenting team. But even then, grandmothers remained careful not to rock the boat and to leave mothers in the lead. They seemed to prefer harmony and abstained from confrontation, even when mothers became more assertive.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Positive_impacts_on_childrens_development_and_family_harmony\"><\/span><strong>Positive impacts on children\u2019s development and family harmony<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>This diplomacy was good for two key indicators of <a href=\"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/cognitive-development-language\/\">children\u2019s development<\/a>. First, in families with mothers present and parenting, when a grandmother (whether maternal or paternal) stepped back and watched more, the attachment between infants and their mothers was more secure than when grandmothers were less diplomatic. One might speculate that a grandmother leaving more room for a mother in the co-parenting relationship, and not actively interfering in mother-child interactions, made it easier for mother and child to bond.<\/p>\n<p>Second, when children were two years old, they were less likely to be aggressive and disruptive in their behavior when grandparents were diplomatic than when they were not. These findings are consistent with <a href=\"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/early-child-development-parental-leave-coparenting\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">research on co-parenting<\/a> between mothers and fathers, which has found that children do better <a href=\"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/competitive-coparenting\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">when co-parents are supportive of each other<\/a> and avoid conflict.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"The_message_to_grandmothers\"><\/span><strong>The message to grandmothers<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>These findings suggest that important aspects of healthy children\u2019s development are related to a harmonious relationship between grandmothers and mothers. Based on our study, these outcomes might occur when grandmothers are patient companions to mothers rather than dominating figures.<\/p>\n<p>The message to grandmothers? Being diplomatic, taking a back seat, and not being overbearing with new mothers are not only good for family peace, but might also be beneficial to young children. In this setting, children might feel closer to their mothers and less prone to <a href=\"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/parental-conflict-effect-on-children\/\">conflictual behavior<\/a> as they develop.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Helping out the family supports children\u2019s development. But research in China suggests it might be especially helpful for grandmothers to be diplomatic and stand back when mothers are present.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":285,"featured_media":20499,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5794],"tags":[],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20481"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/285"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=20481"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20481\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":20526,"href":"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20481\/revisions\/20526"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/20499"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=20481"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=20481"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=20481"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}