{"id":19710,"date":"2023-04-06T16:39:25","date_gmt":"2023-04-06T15:39:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/?p=19710"},"modified":"2024-09-27T17:06:38","modified_gmt":"2024-09-27T16:06:38","slug":"mind-mindedness-parenting","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/mind-mindedness-parenting\/","title":{"rendered":"Parent mind-mindedness can boost children\u2019s self-regulation"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_79_2 counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-custom ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title ez-toc-toggle\" style=\"cursor:pointer\">Table of Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><a href=\"#\" class=\"ez-toc-pull-right ez-toc-btn ez-toc-btn-xs ez-toc-btn-default ez-toc-toggle\" aria-label=\"Toggle Table of Content\"><span class=\"ez-toc-js-icon-con\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #121c4e;color:#121c4e\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #121c4e;color:#121c4e\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/mind-mindedness-parenting\/#Key_takeaways_for_caregivers\" >Key takeaways for caregivers<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/mind-mindedness-parenting\/#What_is_mind-mindedness\" >What is mind-mindedness?<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/mind-mindedness-parenting\/#How_does_mind-mindedness_help_children\" >How does mind-mindedness help children?<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/mind-mindedness-parenting\/#The_connection_between_parental_mind-mindedness_and_preschoolers_self-regulation\" >The connection between parental mind-mindedness and preschoolers\u2019 self-regulation<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-5\" href=\"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/mind-mindedness-parenting\/#How_can_parents_cultivate_mind-mindedness\" >How can parents cultivate mind-mindedness?<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Key_takeaways_for_caregivers\"><\/span><strong>Key takeaways for caregivers<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<ul>\n<li><em>Mind-mindedness<\/em> is the ability of parents to accurately read and label their children\u2019s thoughts, feelings, and wishes.<\/li>\n<li>Both mothers\u2019 and fathers\u2019 mind-mindedness in the first years of children\u2019s lives play an important role in children developing the ability to regulate their emotions and behaviors.<\/li>\n<li>Parents can cultivate mind-mindedness by paying close attention to their children\u2019s behavior and taking time to reflect on and label their children\u2019s thoughts, wishes, and emotions.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"What_is_mind-mindedness\"><\/span><strong>What is mind-mindedness?<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>I have vivid memories of the first weeks of motherhood, feeling anxious and confused about why my baby was crying. I wondered: Why is she crying? How is she feeling? Does she want something other than food? Maybe she just wants to be cuddled? As time passed, I began to understand my baby\u2019s wishes and emotions more clearly. Talking to other new parents, I realized that <a href=\"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/emotions-shape-caring-toddler\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">parents differ in how much they can understand their children\u2019s minds<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>This ability of parents to think about their children as individuals with their own thoughts, feelings, and wishes, and to label these experiences in their interactions with them is called <em>mind-mindedness<\/em>. Parents with this ability accurately read their babies\u2019 minds and label their mental states. This might involve reflecting on a child\u2019s emotional experiences or verbalizing their wishes.<\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_19727\" style=\"width: 1010px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><img decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-19727\" class=\"wp-image-19727 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/egidijus-bielskis-66fxJbQpKqE-unsplash-e1680794459733.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1000\" height=\"667\" srcset=\"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/egidijus-bielskis-66fxJbQpKqE-unsplash-e1680794459733.jpg 1000w, https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/egidijus-bielskis-66fxJbQpKqE-unsplash-e1680794459733-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/egidijus-bielskis-66fxJbQpKqE-unsplash-e1680794459733-768x512.jpg 768w, https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/egidijus-bielskis-66fxJbQpKqE-unsplash-e1680794459733-356x237.jpg 356w, https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/egidijus-bielskis-66fxJbQpKqE-unsplash-e1680794459733-700x467.jpg 700w, https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/egidijus-bielskis-66fxJbQpKqE-unsplash-e1680794459733-50x33.jpg 50w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px\" \/><p id=\"caption-attachment-19727\" class=\"wp-caption-text\"><em>Photo: <a href=\"https:\/\/unsplash.com\/photos\/66fxJbQpKqE\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Egidijus Bielskis<\/a>. Unsplash.<\/em><\/p><\/div>\n<p>For example, when a child starts crying after their toy broke, a mind-minded parent might say, \u201cYou seem <em>upset<\/em> that your toy broke. You <em>wanted <\/em>to play with this toy.\u201d In contrast, parents who misinterpret their children\u2019s mental states (e.g., assuming the child is crying because they are tired and do not want to play anymore) demonstrate <em>non-attuned<\/em> mind-mindedness.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"How_does_mind-mindedness_help_children\"><\/span><strong>How does mind-mindedness help children?<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>Parental mind-mindedness plays an important role in the development of children\u2019s self-regulation. <em>Self-regulation<\/em> is a <a href=\"https:\/\/doi.org\/10.1146\/annurev.psych.51.1.665\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">critical skill<\/a> that enables children to <a href=\"https:\/\/psycnet.apa.org\/doi\/10.2307\/1131254\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">manage their emotions and behaviors<\/a> in response to what a situation demands (Eisenberg, 2000; Kochanska, 1993). As children reach the age of four or five and begin school, the demands for self-regulation increase. Starting a these ages, children need to stay focused, pay attention to learning goals, and actively participate in learning in the classroom so self-regulation becomes <a href=\"https:\/\/doi.org\/10.1016\/j.ijer.2005.07.001\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">especially important <\/a>(e.g., Nota et al., 2004).<\/p>\n<h3>Boosting self-regulation<\/h3>\n<p>Self-regulation in preschool is not only important for later academic achievement \u2013 accumulating evidence suggests that it is also <a href=\"https:\/\/doi.org\/10.1037\/bul0000227\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">essential for children\u2019s social adjustment<\/a> and mental health. Preschool-age children who can adequately regulate their emotions and behaviors have more successful relationships with others, are more socially competent, have healthier life habits, and are at a lower risk for developing mental disorders (Robson et al., 2020).<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><strong>The ability of parents to think about their children as individuals with their own thoughts, feelings, and wishes, and to label these experiences in their interactions with them is called <em>mind-mindedness<\/em>.<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Several studies have examined the <a href=\"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/mind-mindedness-baby-emotions\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">role of parental mind-mindedness in the development of self-regulation in infants<\/a> and toddlers. They have shown that mothers\u2019 and fathers\u2019 mind-mindedness is associated with emerging self-regulation abilities in infancy and toddlerhood (<a href=\"https:\/\/doi.org\/10.3389\/fpsyg.2017.02293\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Cheng et al., 2018<\/a>; <a href=\"https:\/\/doi.org\/10.1002\/icd.2081\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Gagn\u00e9 et al., 2018<\/a>; <a href=\"https:\/\/doi.org\/10.1016\/j.ecresq.2018.02.001\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Senehi et al., 2018<\/a>; <a href=\"https:\/\/doi.org\/10.1111\/desc.12689\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Zeegers et al., 2019<\/a>). However, it remains unclear whether parental mind-mindedness at these ages plays an important role for self-regulation in preschoolers. This is especially important to determine since self-regulation at preschool age predicts various life outcomes.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"The_connection_between_parental_mind-mindedness_and_preschoolers_self-regulation\"><\/span><strong>The connection between parental mind-mindedness and preschoolers\u2019 self-regulation<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>My colleagues and I set out to address this question. In <a href=\"https:\/\/doi.org\/10.1037\/dev0001428\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">our recent study<\/a> (Nikoli\u0107 et al., 2022), we investigated whether mothers\u2019 and fathers\u2019 mind-mindedness in the first three years of a child\u2019s life predicts the development of self-regulation at four and a half years.<\/p>\n<p>We predicted that appropriate mind-mindedness in parents would help children develop good self-regulation because children would learn about their inner states from parents who accurately reflect on and label their mental states (e.g., when a child is sad and the parents reflect on the child\u2019s sadness, the child becomes aware of the feeling and starts to understand it). In contrast, non-attuned mind-mindedness in parents would hinder the development of self-regulation because children whose parents misinterpret their thoughts, wishes, and feelings may feel misunderstood and would not learn to understand their mental states from their parents.<\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_19713\" style=\"width: 1010px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><img decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-19713\" class=\"wp-image-19713 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/pexels-karolina-grabowska-8910032-e1680634169731.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1000\" height=\"667\" srcset=\"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/pexels-karolina-grabowska-8910032-e1680634169731.jpg 1000w, https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/pexels-karolina-grabowska-8910032-e1680634169731-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/pexels-karolina-grabowska-8910032-e1680634169731-768x512.jpg 768w, https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/pexels-karolina-grabowska-8910032-e1680634169731-356x237.jpg 356w, https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/pexels-karolina-grabowska-8910032-e1680634169731-700x467.jpg 700w, https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/pexels-karolina-grabowska-8910032-e1680634169731-50x33.jpg 50w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px\" \/><p id=\"caption-attachment-19713\" class=\"wp-caption-text\"><em>Photo: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.pexels.com\/photo\/woman-in-striped-shirt-carrying-baby-8910032\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Karolina Grabowska<\/a>. Pexels.<\/em><\/p><\/div>\n<p>We assessed mothers\u2019 and fathers\u2019 mind-mindedness in the first three years on multiple occasions by observing their interactions and <a href=\"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/benefits-of-conversations-with-toddlers\">conversations with their children<\/a> during playtime. We then measured preschoolers\u2019 self-regulation at the age of 4.5 in several ways. First, we asked parents about their perception of their children\u2019s <a href=\"https:\/\/www.child-encyclopedia.com\/temperament\/according-experts\/temperamental-effortful-control-self-regulation\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><em>effortful control<\/em><\/a>, or their capacity to voluntarily focus attention and suppress an inappropriate response or activate an appropriate response to adjust to a situation (Eisenberg, 2005). For example, the ability to prioritize sitting quietly and listening to the teacher over playing with a friend is an aspect of effortful control.<\/p>\n<p>Second, the children completed <a href=\"https:\/\/doi.org\/10.1111\/j.1467-8624.1997.tb01939.x\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">behavioral tasks<\/a> in the lab, where we asked them to keep their hands placed on a mat on the table while choosing a prize from a box filled with small toys or a box filled with candies (Kochanska et al., 1997). This task required children to follow instructions and inhibit a dominant response (i.e., touching or pointing to a toy or candy). Finally, we measured children\u2019s heart rate variability during rest \u2013 a bodily response <a href=\"https:\/\/doi.org\/10.1111\/j.1749-6632.1997.tb51913.x\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">related to physiological regulation<\/a> (Porges, 1997).<\/p>\n<h3>Mind-mindedness in the first three years of a child\u2019s life<\/h3>\n<p>Both mothers\u2019 and fathers\u2019 mind-mindedness in the first three years of their children\u2019s lives contributed significantly to their preschoolers\u2019 self-regulation. Fathers who were more mind-minded with their babies and toddlers had children who were better at self-regulation when they started school. In contrast, mothers and fathers who were more non-attuned and often misinterpreted their children\u2019s mental states had children who were less able to self-regulate when they started school.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><strong>Fathers who were more mind-minded with their babies and toddlers had children who were better at self-regulation when they started school.<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>These findings provide the first evidence that both mothers\u2019 and fathers\u2019 mind-mindedness in the early years matters for children\u2019s self-regulation in preschool. They also emphasize the role of fathers\u2019 attunement to their children\u2019s mental states in early years for the development of self-regulation at preschool age.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"How_can_parents_cultivate_mind-mindedness\"><\/span><strong>How can parents cultivate mind-mindedness? <\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>What does this mean for parents? While it may not be surprising that a strong parent-child bond has positive effects on a <a href=\"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/social-emotional-development-2\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">child&#8217;s socioemotional development<\/a>, our study\u2019s findings highlight the unique importance of both mothers and fathers in being mindful of their children&#8217;s internal experiences to promote self-regulation early in life.<\/p>\n<p>Parents can pay close attention to their children\u2019s behavior and cues, and take time to reflect on and label their children\u2019s thoughts, wishes, and emotions. By doing so, parents can help their children develop an understanding of their own inner life, making self-regulation easier. And the best part? It is never too early to start this practice \u2013 even talking about mental states with your child before they can speak can help them develop this important life skill.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>By becoming more attuned to their child\u2019s mental states, both fathers and mothers can help their child develop self-regulation.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":249,"featured_media":19715,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[438],"tags":[35,5753,452,36,27,267,6,455],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19710"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/249"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=19710"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19710\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":21338,"href":"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19710\/revisions\/21338"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/19715"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=19710"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=19710"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=19710"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}