{"id":19156,"date":"2022-11-19T10:58:26","date_gmt":"2022-11-19T10:58:26","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/?p=19156"},"modified":"2024-09-27T17:20:32","modified_gmt":"2024-09-27T16:20:32","slug":"communicating-with-generic-pronouns-to-influence-social-norms","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/communicating-with-generic-pronouns-to-influence-social-norms\/","title":{"rendered":"From \u201cme\u201d to \u201cwe\u201d: How language communicates social norms to children"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_79_2 counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-custom ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title ez-toc-toggle\" style=\"cursor:pointer\">Table of Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><a href=\"#\" class=\"ez-toc-pull-right ez-toc-btn ez-toc-btn-xs ez-toc-btn-default ez-toc-toggle\" aria-label=\"Toggle Table of Content\"><span class=\"ez-toc-js-icon-con\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #121c4e;color:#121c4e\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #121c4e;color:#121c4e\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/communicating-with-generic-pronouns-to-influence-social-norms\/#Key_takeaways_for_caregivers\" >Key takeaways for caregivers<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/communicating-with-generic-pronouns-to-influence-social-norms\/#What_are_social_norms_and_why_do_they_matter\" >What are social norms and why do they matter?<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/communicating-with-generic-pronouns-to-influence-social-norms\/#Do_children_rely_on_subtle_language_cues_to_figure_out_new_norms\" >Do children rely on subtle language cues to figure out new norms?<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/communicating-with-generic-pronouns-to-influence-social-norms\/#How_do_these_findings_translate_to_daily_life\" >How do these findings translate to daily life?<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-5\" href=\"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/communicating-with-generic-pronouns-to-influence-social-norms\/#Broader_implications\" >Broader implications<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Key_takeaways_for_caregivers\"><\/span><strong>Key takeaways for caregivers<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<ul>\n<li>Children are eager to figure out <em>social norms<\/em>, which are informal rules that reflect what groups of people do or should do.<\/li>\n<li>Caregivers can intentionally shift the way they communicate norms to children by using the generic pronouns \u201cyou\u201d and \u201cwe,\u201d which frame information as applying to people in general rather than to a specific individual (e.g., \u201cWe treat others how we like to be treated\u201d instead of \u201cI treat others how I like to be treated.\u201d).<\/li>\n<li>Parents, teachers, and even media can frame norms to children using the generic pronouns \u201cyou\u201d or \u201cwe\u201d (instead of \u201cI\u201d) to make a positive message more persuasive (e.g., conveying the \u201cright\u201d way to behave in a situation).<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"What_are_social_norms_and_why_do_they_matter\"><\/span><strong>What are social norms and why do they matter?<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>Imagine a mother is trying to get her 5-year-old son, Logan, to wash his hands before dinner. \u201cI wash my hands before dinner; that\u2019s what I do,\u201d she says. Unfortunately, Logan is unmoved by this plea. Imagine, now, that Logan\u2019s mom tries a different approach: \u201cWe wash our hands before dinner; that\u2019s what we do.\u201d Or even, \u201cYou wash your hands before dinner; that\u2019s what you do.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Recent research shows that this simple shift \u2013 from \u201cI\u201d to \u201cwe\u201d or \u201cyou\u201d \u2013 can persuade Logan to wash up before dinner. Here, \u201cwe\u201d and \u201cyou\u201d are being used <em>generically <\/em>to describe not just what Logan and his mother do, but what <em>people in general<\/em> do. Research suggests that this subtle linguistic shift, from \u201cI\u201d to a more general \u201cwe\u201d or \u201cyou,\u201d is a powerful way to communicate social norms.<\/p>\n<p>Children are strongly motivated to figure out <a href=\"https:\/\/journals.sagepub.com\/doi\/full\/10.1177\/0963721412448659\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">the \u201cright\u201d way to act in new social situations<\/a>. These <a href=\"https:\/\/srcd.onlinelibrary.wiley.com\/doi\/pdfdirect\/10.1111\/cdep.12010\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">social norms<\/a> range from the mundane to the deeply moral. For example, <em>conventional<\/em> norms include which way to face in an elevator and how to take turns on the playground slide. <em>Moral<\/em> norms include refraining from harming others and <a href=\"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/gratitude-parents-children\/\">expressing gratitude<\/a> for a gift.<\/p>\n<p>Both conventional and moral norms permit smoother sailing in a complex world by allowing people to coordinate their behaviors with one another. Yet learning norms poses a challenge for children. There are <a href=\"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/social-emotional-development-2\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">many norms that must be learned<\/a>, and they can vary across cultures and contexts. For example, while it is acceptable to greet close family and friends with a hug, in many cultures, approaching a stranger this way may be less appropriate. How, then, do children figure out which norms apply in a particular context?<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Do_children_rely_on_subtle_language_cues_to_figure_out_new_norms\"><\/span><strong>Do children rely on subtle language cues to figure out new norms?<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>A recent study addressed this question by turning to the power of language. <a href=\"https:\/\/www.science.org\/doi\/full\/10.1126\/science.aaj2014\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Research with adults<\/a> shows that a compelling way of expressing norms in English is to shift from using an individual pronoun (\u201cI\u201d) to a general pronoun (\u201cwe\u201d or \u201cyou\u201d \u2014 meaning \u201cone\u201d or \u201canyone\u201d). For example, \u201cI whisper in libraries\u201d may express an individual preference, but \u201cwe\/you whisper in libraries\u201d expresses a general rule. The authors of <a href=\"https:\/\/srcd.onlinelibrary.wiley.com\/doi\/abs\/10.1111\/cdev.13846\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">this study<\/a> asked whether children would be sensitive to these subtle shifts in pronouns and use them to figure out norms.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><strong>How we speak to children carries messages beyond what we say.<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>The researchers asked whether, and when in development, children rely on the generic pronouns \u201cwe\u201d and \u201cyou\u201d to figure out new norms. Addressing these questions may help identify subtle but commonly used linguistic devices that children can use to figure out their complex social worlds. It is well documented that <a href=\"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/cognitive-development-language\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">children are rapid language learners<\/a>, so they may be sensitive to these subtle shifts.<\/p>\n<p>To examine these questions, researchers conducted an online experiment in which children were asked to figure out the right way to play a new game. A game context was chosen because games are engaging and involve norms \u2013 that is, there are rules that all players should follow.<\/p>\n<p>Almost 150 midwestern U.S. children between ages 4-1\/2 and 9 years participated in the study. First, they listened to two cartoon children describe how to play the game. Across five trials, one child consistently used a generic pronoun to describe what to do (e.g., \u201cHere is what we do next, we move to the blue circle\u201d) and the other child consistently used a specific pronoun (e.g., \u201cHere is what I do next, I move to the green circle\u201d). After each trial, the children were asked which action was correct; this was the key response that interested the researchers.<\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_19160\" style=\"width: 1210px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><img decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-19160\" class=\"wp-image-19160 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/pexels-tatiana-syrikova-3933385-1-e1667665300703.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1200\" height=\"800\" srcset=\"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/pexels-tatiana-syrikova-3933385-1-e1667665300703.jpg 1200w, https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/pexels-tatiana-syrikova-3933385-1-e1667665300703-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/pexels-tatiana-syrikova-3933385-1-e1667665300703-1024x683.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/pexels-tatiana-syrikova-3933385-1-e1667665300703-768x512.jpg 768w, https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/pexels-tatiana-syrikova-3933385-1-e1667665300703-356x237.jpg 356w, https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/pexels-tatiana-syrikova-3933385-1-e1667665300703-700x467.jpg 700w, https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/pexels-tatiana-syrikova-3933385-1-e1667665300703-50x33.jpg 50w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1200px) 100vw, 1200px\" \/><p id=\"caption-attachment-19160\" class=\"wp-caption-text\"><em>Photo: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.pexels.com\/photo\/photo-of-man-holding-baby-3933385\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Tatiana Syrikova<\/a>. Pexels.<\/em><\/p><\/div>\n<p>Overall, the children were roughly twice as likely to judge that a game board move was the right way to play when it was described with a generic pronoun (\u201cwe\u201d or \u201cyou\u201d) as when it was described with \u201cI.\u201d Moreover, there were no changes with age: Both younger and older children used generic pronouns to guide their judgments.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"How_do_these_findings_translate_to_daily_life\"><\/span><strong>How do these findings translate to daily life?<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>This study illustrates that how we speak to children carries messages beyond what we say. Simply shifting from \u201cme\u201d talk to \u201cwe\u201d or \u201cyou\u201d talk is a subtle but powerful way of signaling the \u201cright\u201d way to act. It is notable that framing an action in general terms was more powerful for children than \u201cI\u201d talk, because <a href=\"https:\/\/www.sciencedirect.com\/science\/article\/abs\/pii\/S1364661309000473\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">previous research<\/a> shows that individual endorsements can be very persuasive, especially to young children.<\/p>\n<p>Social norms are everywhere. There are times when children or adolescents may be particularly motivated to figure out the \u201cright\u201d way to do things, such as when they go somewhere they have never been before, like a museum; when they join a new team; or when they deliver an apology. Each of these situations is bound by social norms that dictate what behaviors are valued and appropriate. Communicating how to act in these contexts using generic pronouns may signal to children and adolescents that these expectations are <em>shared<\/em> and <em>broadly applicable<\/em>, infusing them with additional persuasive force.<\/p>\n<p>In some contexts, parents, teachers, community leaders, and others may need to teach particular social norms to children or adolescents. These could encompass conventional norms, such as how to line up to ensure quick, safe transitions between classes, or norms that are more moral in nature, such as the importance of fairness. In these instances, caregivers may find that using \u201cyou\u201d or \u201cwe\u201d provides an additional nudge that <a href=\"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/what-is-puberty-like-for-girls\/\">encourages children and adolescents<\/a> to follow the norm, especially if it is unfamiliar.<strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Broader_implications\"><\/span><strong>Broader implications<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>In the study, researchers did not find any differences in persuasiveness between generic \u201cwe\u201d and generic \u201cyou.\u201d However, in some contexts, one word may be more powerful than the other in promoting a social norm. In situations in which a child is motivated to belong, using generic \u201cwe\u201d language may be particularly effective.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><strong>Caregivers may find that using \u201cyou\u201d or \u201cwe\u201d provides an additional nudge that encourages children and adolescents to follow the norm.<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Parents and caregivers should also be sensitive to the potential emotional consequences of using generic pronouns, such as signaling compassion. For example, a parent might say to a child who is feeling upset about losing something, \u201cSometimes we lose things; it happens.\u201d This may communicate that loss is a shared human experience, assuaging the child\u2019s feelings of guilt.<\/p>\n<p>However, at other times, using generic pronouns may inadvertently normalize a less than optimal choice \u2013 such as when someone justifies a poor choice with a generic pronoun by saying, for example, \u201cWe all cheat sometimes.\u201d A parent may not want to use generic pronouns to normalize these types of behaviors.<\/p>\n<p>This research looked at how generic pronouns can shape children\u2019s normative judgments about conventional norms. Some questions remain unanswered, including: Are children more persuaded to follow moral norms when they are framed using generic pronouns? How do the social identities of the speaker and listener \u2013 for example, their genders, ages, <a href=\"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/racial-discrimination\/\">races\/ethnicities<\/a>, or statuses (i.e., whether they are in positions of authority) \u2013 influence the persuasiveness of generic pronouns?<\/p>\n<p><em>This research was supported by funds awarded to Susan A. Gelman by the John Templeton Foundation.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Key takeaways for caregivers Children are eager to figure out social norms, which are informal rules that reflect what groups of people do or should do. Caregivers can intentionally shift the way they communicate norms to children by using the generic pronouns \u201cyou\u201d and \u201cwe,\u201d which frame information as applying to people in general rather [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":229,"featured_media":19161,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[438],"tags":[2,459,267],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19156"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/229"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=19156"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19156\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":21022,"href":"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19156\/revisions\/21022"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/19161"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=19156"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=19156"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/childandfamilyblog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=19156"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}