It is amazing to see how many children manage to survive, recover, and even thrive after tumultuous events unfold around them. This might involve getting through natural disasters such as floods or coping with the impacts of poverty or war, be it losing one\u2019s home or enduring precarious shortages of food. Over and over, in diverse situations around the world, we see some children manage to do well while others are hit much harder.<\/p>\n
These young people may have very different experiences, but children who show resilience almost invariably share at least one fundamental protective factor. Typically, in the background, there are people connected to these children \u2013 usually parents and teachers \u2013 who are holding it together amid chaos and trauma to buffer children in their care from the dangers that surround them.<\/p>\n
For example, over the years, I have seen a lot of effective parenting in emergency shelters. Despite scary situations and uncertainty, many caregivers manage to hold steady, even when they do not know where their family is going to live or how they will feed their children.<\/p>\n
Buffering children does not mean shielding them from all stress. But it does mean keeping stress manageable. Children need to learn how to handle stress, setbacks, and failure, as well as what to do when they become overwhelmed. As an analogy, consider the functioning of our immune systems. Research tells us it is unwise to protect immune systems from all exposure to germs, although it is helpful to bolster them with vaccinations.<\/p>\n
\u201cParents have often felt as though they were the first and last line of defense.\u201d<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Likewise, children need some exposure to challenges, supported by effective caregivers and teachers who ensure that they are not exposed to overwhelming trauma. All lives have major blows and face many kinds of adversities. Problem-solving skills, social support, and confidence that one can overcome adversity are important for resilience, but they develop best when they grow over time, honed by experiences of overcoming manageable challenges.<\/p>\n