• Fathers’ participation in shared book reading has important and unique contributions to children’s development.
• Fathers can successfully and effectively engage in shared reading with their children regardless of their own reading abilities or confidence with reading aloud.
• Fathers who view shared reading as part of their parental responsibility and as an opportunity to bond with their children are more likely to engage in shared book reading activities.

What is shared book reading?

Shared book reading occurs when an adult – typically a family member or caregiver – reads to and with a child. This is a common practice for many families across the world. Familial shared book reading is important for many reasons: It introduces young children to print concepts such as book orientation and reading direction, promotes a range of early language and literacy skills in children, and helps develop positive relationships between caregivers and children.

Shared book reading is uniquely important for children’s development

The types of language exchanges that occur during shared reading are typically more advanced than those occurring in everyday conversations between children and adults. Additionally, the text found in books used during shared book reading introduces children to new vocabulary words beyond what they typically hear in their daily lives.

Parents also tend to engage with their children differently during shared book reading than they do in other types of activities, such as physical play or pretend play. Specific to father-child interactions, research shows that the diversity of fathers’ vocabulary, the number of questions asked, and the length of spoken sentences is greater during shared reading than it is while playing with toys (Salo et al., 2016). This positions shared book reading as a key activity that fathers can engage in that promotes children’s development in many areas.

Fathers interact with children in positive ways during shared book reading

Recent decades have seen increases in fathers’ participation in a variety of activities with their children, including shared book reading. Although some fathers and mothers tend to read books with their children in similar ways, research has shown that Dads interact with their children differently than mothers while reading with their children (Cutler & Palkovitz, 2020). Specifically, fathers ask children more open-ended questions (who, why) – a practice that challenges children’s thinking and expands their language skills (Rowe et al., 2004). Dads also engage in more conversationally challenging interactions with their children during shared book reading than do mothers (Anderson et al., 2004; Tomasello et al., 1990).

Photo: RODNAE Productions. Pexels.

Physical interactions also differ during reading. Recent research has shown that fathers are more likely than mothers to engage in close, interlocking contact while reading with their children, a behavior that helps promote a positive reading experience between parents and children (Cutler, 2020).

What fathers say and do during shared book reading matters for children’s development

Both the quantity and quality of father-child exchanges during shared book reading predict children’s language and literacy skills, influencing what children say and understand. For example, fathers’ linguistic complexity (the types of vocabulary words used, how many overall words are spoken) is positively associated with children’s expressive language (what they say; Rowe et al., 2004; Tomasello et al., 1990). Fathers’ participation in shared book reading also positively affects children’s receptive language skills (what they understand from spoken language; Tamis-LeMonda et al., 2004).

Language input

Additionally, fathers’ language input while reading books to their children is related to children’s general academic outcomes. Children whose fathers frequently participated in shared book reading activities with them when they were two years old had more advanced social-emotional skills and higher reading and math scores in pre-kindergarten than did children whose fathers read with them less often (Baker, 2013). Furthermore, fathers’ engagement in shared book reading is positively associated with children’s attention skills and ability to regulate emotions, especially for boys (Malin et al., 2014).

Why are fathers less likely than mothers to read to children?

Yet despite the important contributions fathers make to their children’s development through shared book reading, they are less likely than mothers to consistently read with their children or to be the main reader in the household. This gap has narrowed in recent decades, though, as fathers have increased their general levels of participation in their children’s lives.

Both the quantity and quality of father-child exchanges during shared book reading predict children’s language and literacy skills, influencing what children say and understand.

For some U.S. families, a positive outcome of the COVID-19 pandemic has been the rise in family participation in reading activities, including between fathers and their children (Carlson et al., 2022; Mayol-García, 2022). Maintaining a higher level of father participation in shared book reading can have both short- and long-term positive effects on children, families, and communities. What factors may influence whether these trends continue?

Factors predicting fathers’ participation in shared book reading

Many factors influence how frequently fathers read with their children, including familial ethnic, racial, and cultural backgrounds. In cultures across the globe, views vary regarding parents’ and familial caregivers’ roles in supporting young children’s language and literacy development. Though parent-child shared book reading is common in many countries, not all cultures favor shared reading as the primary way to involve children in literacy activities.

For example, some Hispanic and Native American families view oral storytelling as more important than or equally important as reading books with their children (Janes & Kermani, 2001; Nelson-Strouts & Gillispie, 2017). Such practices benefit children’s development and can be considered complementary activities fathers can participate in with their children.

Photo: Karolina Grabowska. Pexels.

Father’s views on parenting roles

Father’s views of their parenting roles and responsibilities also play a part. Fathers who view shared book reading as part of their parenting responsibility or whose partners expect them to read with their children are more likely to do so (Ortiz, 2004; Swain et al., 2017). The overall level of engagement fathers have with their children is also associated with the likelihood that they will read with them. It makes sense that fathers who are very involved and available to their children are more likely to read with them.

Furthermore, fathers’ personal experiences with reading affect how often they read with their children. Dads who are confident readers, who enjoy reading themselves, and who have had positive experiences with reading, either at home or in school (or both), are more likely to participate in shared reading activities with their children than dads who have not had these experiences (Duursma et al., 2008; Ortiz, 2004).

The types of books available

The type of books available during shared book reading and fathers’ perceptions of the purpose of shared reading experiences can also influence how often they participate in this activity. Some Dads feel more comfortable reading informational or non-fiction books than fiction books with their children (Robertson & Reese, 2017). The availability of books in the home in fathers’ native languages also affects how likely they are to read with their children. Fathers who have limited literacy or who speak a different first language than their children are less likely to participate in shared book reading (Duursma et al., 2008; Ortiz, 2004).

All fathers can engage in shared book reading, regardless of their reading ability or familiarity with reading aloud

Attitudes matter, too. Sitting close to or holding a child while relaxing and sharing books together is often perceived as a time of emotional closeness between parents and children. Dads who view shared book reading as an opportunity to spend time with and bond with their children are more likely to participate than fathers who view the experience as a chore or as a way to teach their children a lesson (Bus & van IJzendoorn, 1992; Janes & Kermani, 2001).

Conclusion

By engaging in shared reading with their children, fathers can support children’s development while also fostering positive father-child relationships. Many fathers across the world recognize the importance of shared book reading. However, the rates at which fathers read with their children continues to lag behind that of mothers.

Highlighting the unique contributions Dads make to children’s development through reading is an important consideration for programs and policies designed to support families and communities. Supporting fathers who are hesitant to read with their children or feel less confident about reading is also important.

All fathers can engage in shared book reading, regardless of their reading ability or familiarity with reading aloud. Here are suggestions for how to ensure that all fathers feel supported in shared book reading.

Considerations for fatherhood programs and family literacy initiatives

• Normalize and promote father-child shared book reading as an important activity for fathers.
• Highlight the unique contributions fathers make to their children’s development by engaging in shared reading.
• Focus on the overall importance of sharing books and not on being a “perfect” reader. (For example, encourage the idea that stories can be shared without reading every single word on the page.)
• Ensure that messaging and marketing materials promoting family literacy activities feature fathers.
• Select books to share that are of interest to a wide range of fathers and that account for the varying literacy abilities of adult readers, such as books that feature fathers interacting with their children in positive ways, bilingual books, and wordless picture books.
• Offer books that portray fathers from varying racial, ethnic, and cultural backgrounds, as well as fathers from varying family constellations (single fathers, same-sex fathers, kin fathers, stepfathers).

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• Mind-mindedness is the ability of parents to accurately read and label their children’s thoughts, feelings, and wishes.
• Both mothers’ and fathers’ mind-mindedness in the first years of children’s lives play an important role in children developing the ability to regulate their emotions and behaviors.
• Parents can cultivate mind-mindedness by paying close attention to their children’s behavior and taking time to reflect on and label their children’s thoughts, wishes, and emotions.

What is mind-mindedness?

I have vivid memories of the first weeks of motherhood, feeling anxious and confused about why my baby was crying. I wondered: Why is she crying? How is she feeling? Does she want something other than food? Maybe she just wants to be cuddled? As time passed, I began to understand my baby’s wishes and emotions more clearly. Talking to other new parents, I realized that parents differ in how much they can understand their children’s minds.

This ability of parents to think about their children as individuals with their own thoughts, feelings, and wishes, and to label these experiences in their interactions with them is called mind-mindedness. Parents with this ability accurately read their babies’ minds and label their mental states. This might involve reflecting on a child’s emotional experiences or verbalizing their wishes.

Photo: Egidijus Bielskis. Unsplash.

For example, when a child starts crying after their toy broke, a mind-minded parent might say, “You seem upset that your toy broke. You wanted to play with this toy.” In contrast, parents who misinterpret their children’s mental states (e.g., assuming the child is crying because they are tired and do not want to play anymore) demonstrate non-attuned mind-mindedness.

How does mind-mindedness help children?

Parental mind-mindedness plays an important role in the development of children’s self-regulation. Self-regulation is a critical skill that enables children to manage their emotions and behaviors in response to what a situation demands (Eisenberg, 2000; Kochanska, 1993). As children reach the age of four or five and begin school, the demands for self-regulation increase. Starting a these ages, children need to stay focused, pay attention to learning goals, and actively participate in learning in the classroom so self-regulation becomes especially important (e.g., Nota et al., 2004).

Boosting self-regulation

Self-regulation in preschool is not only important for later academic achievement – accumulating evidence suggests that it is also essential for children’s social adjustment and mental health. Preschool-age children who can adequately regulate their emotions and behaviors have more successful relationships with others, are more socially competent, have healthier life habits, and are at a lower risk for developing mental disorders (Robson et al., 2020).

The ability of parents to think about their children as individuals with their own thoughts, feelings, and wishes, and to label these experiences in their interactions with them is called mind-mindedness.

Several studies have examined the role of parental mind-mindedness in the development of self-regulation in infants and toddlers. They have shown that mothers’ and fathers’ mind-mindedness is associated with emerging self-regulation abilities in infancy and toddlerhood (Cheng et al., 2018; Gagné et al., 2018; Senehi et al., 2018; Zeegers et al., 2019). However, it remains unclear whether parental mind-mindedness at these ages plays an important role for self-regulation in preschoolers. This is especially important to determine since self-regulation at preschool age predicts various life outcomes.

The connection between parental mind-mindedness and preschoolers’ self-regulation

My colleagues and I set out to address this question. In our recent study (Nikolić et al., 2022), we investigated whether mothers’ and fathers’ mind-mindedness in the first three years of a child’s life predicts the development of self-regulation at four and a half years.

We predicted that appropriate mind-mindedness in parents would help children develop good self-regulation because children would learn about their inner states from parents who accurately reflect on and label their mental states (e.g., when a child is sad and the parents reflect on the child’s sadness, the child becomes aware of the feeling and starts to understand it). In contrast, non-attuned mind-mindedness in parents would hinder the development of self-regulation because children whose parents misinterpret their thoughts, wishes, and feelings may feel misunderstood and would not learn to understand their mental states from their parents.

Photo: Karolina Grabowska. Pexels.

We assessed mothers’ and fathers’ mind-mindedness in the first three years on multiple occasions by observing their interactions and conversations with their children during playtime. We then measured preschoolers’ self-regulation at the age of 4.5 in several ways. First, we asked parents about their perception of their children’s effortful control, or their capacity to voluntarily focus attention and suppress an inappropriate response or activate an appropriate response to adjust to a situation (Eisenberg, 2005). For example, the ability to prioritize sitting quietly and listening to the teacher over playing with a friend is an aspect of effortful control.

Second, the children completed behavioral tasks in the lab, where we asked them to keep their hands placed on a mat on the table while choosing a prize from a box filled with small toys or a box filled with candies (Kochanska et al., 1997). This task required children to follow instructions and inhibit a dominant response (i.e., touching or pointing to a toy or candy). Finally, we measured children’s heart rate variability during rest – a bodily response related to physiological regulation (Porges, 1997).

Mind-mindedness in the first three years of a child’s life

Both mothers’ and fathers’ mind-mindedness in the first three years of their children’s lives contributed significantly to their preschoolers’ self-regulation. Fathers who were more mind-minded with their babies and toddlers had children who were better at self-regulation when they started school. In contrast, mothers and fathers who were more non-attuned and often misinterpreted their children’s mental states had children who were less able to self-regulate when they started school.

Fathers who were more mind-minded with their babies and toddlers had children who were better at self-regulation when they started school.

These findings provide the first evidence that both mothers’ and fathers’ mind-mindedness in the early years matters for children’s self-regulation in preschool. They also emphasize the role of fathers’ attunement to their children’s mental states in early years for the development of self-regulation at preschool age.

How can parents cultivate mind-mindedness?

What does this mean for parents? While it may not be surprising that a strong parent-child bond has positive effects on a child’s socioemotional development, our study’s findings highlight the unique importance of both mothers and fathers in being mindful of their children’s internal experiences to promote self-regulation early in life.

Parents can pay close attention to their children’s behavior and cues, and take time to reflect on and label their children’s thoughts, wishes, and emotions. By doing so, parents can help their children develop an understanding of their own inner life, making self-regulation easier. And the best part? It is never too early to start this practice – even talking about mental states with your child before they can speak can help them develop this important life skill.

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• Parents who work outside of the standard Monday-Friday, 9-5 hours must strike a balance between their work schedule and the demands of parenting.
• Fathers’ parenting is often influenced by non-standard work schedules and some types of work, such as night shifts, may increase certain types of parenting, whereas others may decrease the amount of parenting.
• Achieving the right balance between work and parenting should be considered within the context of the family. For example, the mother’s work schedule, the child’s age, and the type of parenting activity may all play a role in the effect of non-standard work schedules.

How do fathers’ non-standard work schedules affect their parenting?

Fathers matter. We know the positive impact of fathers as caregivers in terms of emotional support, interactive caring, and day-to-day raising of their children. But does it matter if they regularly work non-standard hours, such as evenings, nights, or weekends, that may challenge their ability to carry out their parenting activities? Given that more than half of employed U.K. fathers work such non-standard hours during the first decade of their children’s lives, it is imperative to understand how this affects fathers’ parenting and whether the effects vary by context. (Non-standard work schedules are also common among U.S. fathers.)

New quantitative evidence from the United Kingdom offers a nuanced answer. My colleague, Anne McMunn, and I used data from the Millennium Cohort Study – a nationally representative sample of children born in the United Kingdom between 2000 and 2002. We analyzed 11,412 fathers when their children were nine months old and 7,791 fathers when their children were nearly seven years old. We focused on two measures of parenting – basic care (in both age groups) and play and recreation (for seven-year-olds).

Photo: Gustavo Fring. Pexels.

Fathers of nine-month-olds were asked how often they looked after their babies on their own, changed diapers, fed their children, or got up in the night to attend to them. Fathers of seven-year-olds were asked if they helped their children get ready for bed or cared for them alone. They were also asked how often they read with or to their children, told stories, did musical activities, drew, played physically active games, took the children to the park, or played with toys or games indoors.

Different non-standard schedules influenced fathers’ involvement in different ways

We found that fathers who worked in the evenings, between 6 p.m. and 10 p.m., spent less time on basic parenting activities both when their children were infants and when they were seven than did fathers who worked standard hours. For example, they spent less time looking after a child alone, getting a child ready for bed, changing diapers, or getting up in the night to soothe a baby. In contrast, fathers who worked night schedules, such as from 10 p.m. to 7 a.m., spent more time on these basic care activities.

Initially, we found that fathers who regularly worked evenings spent more time and those who worked weekends spent less time in play and recreation than did fathers who worked standard hours. However, these differences may stem more from work characteristics, such as long working hours, than from work schedules. Lastly, we found no evidence that the relation between fathers’ work schedules and parenting differed by the intensity of fathers’ work hours, families’ poverty status, or fathers’ educational attainment.

While fathers who work evenings may decrease the amount of parenting they do, fathers who work nights have opportunities to be more actively involved in parenting

These findings support a more nuanced view of the integration of non-standard work schedules with parenting. Not all non-standard work schedules negatively affect fathers’ involvement. While fathers who work evenings may decrease the amount of parenting they do, fathers who work nights have opportunities to be more actively involved in parenting.

Previous research on working specific times of the day helps interpret these results. Night schedules could create openings for dads to be involved in parenting routines during the day, or in the early morning or evening, depending on when work starts and ends. In contrast, evening work may occur during children’s bedtimes, giving fathers who work at this time fewer opportunities to be involved in parenting. In addition to the basic parenting activities we examined, other studies have also found that fathers who work evening schedules miss out on family activities, such as helping with homework and eating meals together.

Mothers’ employment schedules also influence working fathers’ parenting time

The story is incomplete if we fail to consider the role of mothers’ employment. We examined whether parents’ available time in the household also mattered for fathers’ parenting time. We found that fathers’ night work facilitated more basic parenting activities when mothers worked than they did when mothers did not work. However, fathers participated in even more basic parenting activities when both parents worked non-standard schedules than when both worked at standard times.

Photo: Pavel Danilyuk. Pexels.

Perhaps this indicates a preference for parental child care. Some couples engage in tag-team parenting, which involves decreasing the overlap between their work schedules and maximizing time with their children. For example, if one parent works nights or weekends, the other parent stays at home and engages in parenting instead of paying for child care.

Alternatively, our findings may indicate not that parents choose to work non-standard schedules but the financial constraints of finding child care at non-standard times. Despite the greater provision of publicly funded child care in the United Kingdom for three- to five-year-olds, relative to the U.S. context, child care is expensive and harder to find outside regular daytime hours.

Policies and programs can help reduce the challenges of parents’ non-standard work schedules

How can fathers make it work so they can make important contributions in their children’s lives? The challenge for workplace policies and government programs is to reduce the potential difficulties for fathers of working non-standard schedules. Employers need to acknowledge a lesson learned from the COVID-19 pandemic: that many jobs can be worked flexibly.

Working non-standard hours may compromise supportive parenting – but it also has the potential to lead to more time parenting under the right circumstances.

Some parents view non-standard work schedules as an opportunity to fulfil their goals to integrate family time, parenting, and paid work. Employers can advertise job vacancies as flexible and in the United Kingdom, reduce the qualifying period before employees can request flexible work schedules. Such a policy promotes inclusivity as the demand for non-standard employment is met and matched with workers who are available and willing to work such hours.

When parents don’t have control over work schedules

However, not all parents have control over their work schedules. For those parents, government policies can provide incentives for childcare facilities to remain open evenings and weekends, and employers can offer pay premiums for working outside standard hours. Such programs can relieve the constraints on families who need affordable child care.

Parents working nonstandard work schedules may very well want to minimize the potential negative impacts of their work times on their parenting. As parents reflect on the integration of their work schedules with family time, they should consider the context of their home life –for example, the age of their children, whether both parents work and at what times of the day, and the types of parenting activities which they engage in during the course of a day (e.g., play or basic care).

In our research, we were unable to consider whether a parent chooses to work at a non-standard time, but such choice in work schedules is unquestionably a factor in how parents integrate work and family time. Amid the daily challenges of balancing work and parenting time, working non-standard hours may compromise supportive parenting – but it also has the potential to lead to more time parenting under the right circumstances.

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• Mothers and fathers show similar patterns of brain activity when exposed to stimuli from their infant.
• The observed brain changes occur in areas involved with reward, motivation, and empathy, and are associated with hormonal changes in moms and dads.
• Brain systems may reflect parental potential available to human fathers and other mammalian fathers when they are more involved in caregiving.

Fathers’ brains respond when they are exposed to stimuli from their baby

The neurobiology of fatherhood in humans seems to be similar to the neurobiology of motherhood, involving two brain systems – a “motivational” system that refers to the drive to nurture offspring, and an “empathy” system that refers to the ability to understand the thoughts and feelings of others.

Fathers shown pictures of their own newborns experienced more activation of empathy and reward systems than when shown pictures of unknown newborns.

For example, brain responses of mothers and fathers to pictures or videos of their infants overlap. Increased activity is found in parts of the brain associated with reward, motivation, and empathy. In one study, increased activity in brain reward systems also correlated with the father’s active engagement in caregiving, as reported by the mother.

In another study, fathers shown pictures of their own newborns experienced more activation of empathy and reward systems than fathers shown pictures of unknown newborns. In another study, a new father’s self-reported positive thoughts about his infant correlated with reward system activation in response to his infant’s cries. Future research will look at other brain responses in fathers – to children’s laughter, speech, and movements.

Brain changes are connected to hormonal changes activated by involved parenting

There is growing evidence that these changes are linked with the hormones that are produced when fathers care for their children. The key difference between human mothers and fathers is the degree of variability in fatherhood. After birth, most mothers are actively involved in parenting, but fatherhood is activated only when circumstances require or allow it, and even then it is highly variable.

When fatherhood is activated, neural processes take place in fathers that are similar to those in mothers.

In societies with small family units living apart from extended family networks and in families with scarce resources, paternal involvement is necessary. When fatherhood is activated, neural processes take place in fathers that are similar to those in mothers. It is as if a parental potential resides in all humans and is activated when circumstances require.

In the wild, fathers are actively engaged in caring for their young in only 5% of mammalian species (e.g., some primates, rodents, and canids, in particular). As in humans, this paternal behavior involves similar brain processes as those involved with maternal behavior. But when animals are held in captivity and in non-natural conditions, fathers can become more active. This suggests that parental brain systems may exist in many male mammals, and that they can be activated when an active paternal role is desirable or possible.

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• Supportive fathers influence their children in significant ways, including the development of cognitive and social skills.
• The positive impact of fathers is greater when fathers’ relationships with mothers are strong and supportive.
• Fathers can help their children’s development through supportive and involved parenting and engaging activities, such as reading books and playing.

To fully understand the significance of a father’s influence on his children, we will explore four key areas:

1. Father-child attachment and later development
2. Father influence on a child’s achievements
3. Father influence on a child’s social skills
4. The mother-father relationship

1. Father-child attachment influences children’s later development

When there is a strong father-child attachment in the first two years, research shows a link with the child’s later social skills, cognitive skills (e.g., language, school achievement) and behavior. In this way, fathers influence their children’s futures.

These links between strong father-child attachment and later child development are greatest when fathers are more involved in parenting. This suggests that involved fathers have the potential to make a big difference in their child’s life.

Involved fathers have the potential to make a big difference in their child’s life.

2. Fathers have a significant influence on their child’s achievements

Fathers who provide primary care for their two-year-olds have children who achieve higher scores on academic tests. (The same is true of mothers.) Anne Martin and her team found that mothers and fathers who provided primary care for their children when they were two had five-year-olds with higher arithmetic and language scores.

Eirini Flouri and Ann Buchanan found that British children with more involved fathers had higher IQs at age seven than did children with less involved fathers. Other researchers have found similar associations at 11 years and 16 years.

Some researchers have worked to distinguish fathers’ influences on educational performance from the effects of other wider family and community influences. The links remain: Fathers who are supportive appear to promote their children’s language and cognitive development.

3. Fathers influence their children’s social skills

In a large British study, when mothers reported that fathers were involved with their seven-year-olds, the children were more likely to report being close to their fathers at 16 and to have less contact with police during adolescence. Other researchers have found even longer-lasting links – fathers’ involvement with their six-year-olds appeared to positively influence  the feelings of their offspring when they were in their 30s, more than 25 years later.

Photo: Mieke Campbell. Pexels.

High levels of paternal involvement in childhood also predict offspring’s social interaction styles in adulthood, as well as their married relationships, parenting skills, and mental health. The converse has also been shown – low paternal involvement and poor child-father attachments predict more psychological and social problems later.

Ross Parke and his colleagues found that a physically playful and affectionate father-son relationship predicted sons’ later popularity with peers. Other researchers have found that fathers who were more sensitive to their five-year-olds’ emotional states had more socially competent children three years later.

Researchers have examined whether fathers and mothers exert different influences on the social development of their children. It is very difficult to separate these influences from the many roles mothers and fathers play in different families. However, researchers have found that children who reported secure attachments to both their parents were more likely to report positive friendships than children who did not.

Mothers influence father-child relationships and fathers influence mother-child relationships.

4. The mother-father relationship influences children

The last 20 years have seen a lot of research on how family members influence the relationships of other family members with children. Studies suggest that mothers influence father-child relationships and fathers influence mother-child relationships.

A key influence on the father-child relationship is how supportive the mother is of this relationship, as well as the quality of the mother-father relationship.

The inverse is also true: Both the father and the mother-father relationship influence the mother-child relationship, but the influence is less. This may be because maternal behavior is framed by clearer conventions and role definitions, while fathers’ roles and behavior are more influenced by what mothers believe.

Mothers’ mental health also affects the father-child relationship, and fathers’ mental health affects the mother-child relationship. Sometimes the response can be compensatory. For example, when mothers suffer from postnatal depression, fathers often engage in more positive interactions with their babies.

Conclusion

The conclusion of this research is clear: A father who wants to be close to his children and positively influence their future should invest in relationships with both the children and their mothers.

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• It is important for fathers to begin bonding with their baby during pregnancy; singing, reading, and talking to their baby can support this early bond.
• Fathers can also talk with their partner and trusted others about their hopes and concerns for their baby during pregnancy as a way to prepare for early parenting.
• During pregnancy, fathers are encouraged to connect with other expectant or new fathers to begin building a parenting support network.

Key takeaways for healthcare and social services programs 

Make pregnancy spaces father friendly 

• Encourage fathers to attend obstetrics and ultrasound appointments, and provide a welcoming space for addressing fathers directly, asking if they have questions or concerns, and supporting their involvement in the pregnancy process.
• Provide supportive spaces and programs for fathers to connect with each other and learn about topics related to pregnancy and early infant care.
• Include pictures of fathers and infants in obstetrics and pediatrics offices and reading material that may appeal to men in waiting rooms.

Talk with fathers directly about their past and present experiences

• Ask fathers about their own experiences with the pregnancy and their hopes and concerns for their infant.
• Include fathers in early intervention programs beginning at intake and highlight fathers’ importance for the health and well-being of their infant.
• Screen expectant fathers (and mothers) for Perinatal Mood and Anxiety Disorders, past maltreatment and trauma histories, and current exposure to adversity, and connect them with mental health services as needed.

Key takeaways for policymakers 

• Create systems that coordinate and connect fathering programs, such as state-level fatherhood commissions.
• Require early intervention programs to include fathers whenever possible as a central component of interventions rather than a suggested add-on service to families.
• Create programs and services that support fathers in bonding with their babies during the perinatal period, such as establishing ‘fatherhood navigators’ at hospitals that support fathers during prenatal visits, labor and delivery, and with post-natal infant care.

While fathers are increasingly expected to be actively involved in the pregnancy and post-natal care of their newborn, social narratives have not kept pace with these expectations.

Prenatal emotional bonds are a foundation for healthy parent-child relationships

Expecting and preparing for a baby is a time of excitement and joy for many parents. In addition to stocking up on diapers and onesies, parents-to-be are also preparing psychologically for the birth of their new baby (Dayton et al., 2020). The prenatal emotional bond parents form with their baby is essential and powerful – it prepares them to care for their newborn (Raphael-Leff, 2005).

In turn, early sensitive parenting – feeding, bathing, changing, holding, and soothing the baby – sets the stage for a strong and enduring parent-child relationship. For fathers, early infant care is associated with feelings of parenting competence (Dayton et al., 2015), and thereby supports their growing bond with their baby.

Prenatal bonding is often different for mothers and fathers

For the person carrying the baby (typically the mother), the prenatal emotional bond with the infant is supported by the biology of pregnancy – hormonal changes, the baby’s movements inside her (“quickening”), and a growing baby bump all contribute to her emotional connection with her baby.

Her growing body also alerts the outside world that she is expecting a baby and, across cultures, many social practices acknowledge, honor, and support her mothering role. The baby bump may compel passengers on the bus to give up their seat, accommodates nearby parking at the grocery store, and can inspire smiles and kind words from strangers.

In contrast, the parent who is not carrying the baby (the father or the mother’s partner) is an external observer of the baby’s prenatal growth. Expectant fathers also undergo prenatal hormonal and physiological changes that support post-natal parenting behaviors (Saxbe et al., 2017), but because these changes are not visible to others, expectant men experience fewer social acknowledgements of their status as fathers-to-be than do expectant women.

Photo: Amina Filkins. Pexels.

Prenatal bonding is also a slower process for fathers than it is for mothers. A father’s prenatal bond with his baby tends to increase as the pregnancy progresses (Habib & Lancaster, 2010) and is influenced by his own mental health (e.g., depression, anxiety; Cameron et al., 2016) and by his relationship with the mother of his baby (Ahlqvist-Björkroth et al., 2016).

Dispelling misconceptions about the importance of fathers’ early involvement

However, when expectant fathers are given time and space to talk, they have a lot to say! In addition to feelings of excitement and pride, fathers describe their growing feelings of responsibility – not just for the immediate post-natal period, but also for the care their child will need throughout life.

However, while fathers are increasingly expected to be actively involved in the pregnancy and post-natal care of their newborn, social narratives have not kept pace with these expectations. Therefore, fathers may wrongly believe that their most important parenting role does not begin until their children are older (Dayton et al., 2016). Notably, fathers who believe strongly in the importance of early fathering for the health and well-being of young children are also more likely to feel a strong emotional bond with their infant prenatally (Dayton et al., 2019), and may therefore be more prepared for post-natal infant care.

Fathers’ involvement improves babies’ development

The research is clear: When fathers are involved in the lives of their babies beginning in pregnancy, healthy outcomes for their babies are improved – prenatal, birth, and newborn health outcomes are better and per-infant health care costs are reduced (Alio et al., 2010; Salihu et al., 2014). For mothers and fathers in areas of the United States like Detroit, where maternal and infant morbidity and mortality rates constitute a public health crisis, fathers’ involvement can reduce the negative effects of systemic factors such as institutional racism that are literally killing black mothers and babies.

So how do men bond with their babies and what can be done to support them? Research is beginning to shed light on the ways in which men form prenatal relationships with their babies and this work suggests some ways to help.

Encouraging fathers’ involvement supports father-infant bonding

Research has demonstrated that the quality of the prenatal father-infant relationship is related to the quality of the post-natal father-infant relationship (Vreeswijk et al., 2014). However, research also suggests that expectant fathers’ emotional connection to their infant begins somewhat later in pregnancy than it does with mothers (Ives, 2014) – likely due to the physiological and social differences they experience. Many men say they must rely on the mother as a gatekeeper (Draper, 2002), for example, to be invited to feel the baby’s movements in utero and to be notified of obstetrics visits. These experiences may create a sense of distance from the infant.

When fathers are involved during pregnancy, outcomes for infants improve.

Mothers can support the father-infant bond by encouraging fathers to be actively involved in the pregnancy. Fathers’ involvement can include talking and singing to their babies and attending prenatal medical appointments. They can also talk with the baby’s mother about important newborn care decisions, such as whether the baby will be breast- or bottle-fed (Dayton et al., 2019). In this way, fathers can care for and bond with their baby even before the baby is born.

Fathers can also feel closer to their baby by talking about them with others. Friends and family members can provide spaces for expectant fathers to talk about their hopes and dreams for their baby, as well as their worries and concerns.

Perhaps because mothers are still perceived as the “primary” parent in infancy and early childhood, many fathers connect with the women in their lives to support them during pregnancy and early parenting (Dayton et al., 2016). But when other fathers reach out to share pregnancy expectations and answer questions, expectant fathers describe feeling a deep sense of support and connection with them (Walsh et al., 2014). Programs that encourage men to develop parenting support systems with each other may have powerful effects on improving mental health and increasing feelings of parenting confidence.

Social systems should emphasize the importance of fathers’ role and services for expectant dads

Social systems also play a role. Within the health care system, fathers often feel ignored and report feeling unwelcome at obstetrics appointments and ultrasound scans (Widarsson et al., 2015). Yet when fathers are included and involved in these appointments, they feel more connected to their baby, and they often feel a surge of pride and motivation to be good fathers and partners to the baby’s mother (Walsh et al., 2014).

To support and encourage these feelings, medical personnel can involve fathers in medical appointments by including them in conversations about the medical status of the mother and baby, and by explicitly asking fathers if they have questions or concerns. In addition, by intentionally featuring pictures of fathers and infants in obstetrics and pediatric waiting rooms and displaying magazines that appeal to fathers, health care professionals can help fathers feel welcome in the space (Albuja et al., 2019).

Health care providers’ offices are often the first (and sometimes only) place where parental well-being can be assessed. Although stigma still exists that may prevent fathers from talking about their mental health, many fathers struggle with feelings of depression and anxiety as they prepare for the birth of their baby – just as many mothers do (Dayton et al., 2017).

Photo: Justin Thompson. Pexels.

Fathers may also find that past exposure to traumatic events influences their ability to bond with their baby during pregnancy (Dayton et al., 2019). Health care providers are encouraged to screen fathers (and mothers) for Perinatal Mood and Anxiety Disorders, and to provide compassionate support and referrals to mental health services as needed (Walsh et al., 2020).

Within most social services systems, prenatal and early childhood intervention services are targeted almost exclusively to mothers. Despite increased efforts to also provide programs for fathers, services for dads are often designed and delivered as both optional and secondary to the central intervention with the mother.

This approach reinforces social narratives that fathers are less important than mothers during pregnancy and as parents to their young children. It also ignores growing evidence that interventions that target the co-parenting relationship, and therefore attend equally to both parents, yield positive effects on child outcomes (Hawkins et al., 2022).

Parenting programs should include fathers in early childhood interventions from the very beginning of the service delivery process. Ensuring that agencies are father friendly, in terms of office décor and a welcoming approach to fathers, for example, is also crucial.

Conclusions: Fathers’ involvement has a significant and enduring impact

When fathers are involved during pregnancy, outcomes for infants improve. Fathers form early, prenatal, relational bonds with their babies that support their parenting after the birth of their child. Improving services to expectant fathers, especially in communities where infant mortality and morbidity are high, can help the negative effects of racism, poverty, and violence on maternal and infant outcomes. Programs and policymakers can help support prenatal father-infant relationships by creating prenatal spaces that include fathers and by implementing early intervention programs for fathers, and by making sure dads are a part of existing programs.

The post Helping fathers bond with their babies during pregnancy appeared first on Child and Family Blog.

• The transition to fatherhood is accompanied by changes in fathers’ brains and hormones. These changes are probably related to new activities and routines that fathers are involved in and develop.
• These brain-related and hormonal changes are functional: They support fathers’ sensitive responses to their infants’ needs.
• A new study using ultrasound imaging and feedback during pregnancy indicates that positive father-child interactions can get a head start before birth.

The birth of a child is the birth of a father

The birth of the first child marks the transition to fatherhood in men’s lives. This is a developmental milestone, a new phase in adult life with unfamiliar tasks and responsibilities. The transition is more striking for most men who become fathers now than it was for their fathers and grandfathers.

Today, fathers in Western, industrialized countries are much more actively involved in child care than fathers were: a three- to six-fold increase in time over what their own fathers typically did. How are men prepared for the life-changing event of becoming a father?

Hormonal changes in new fathers

The changes in hormonal levels in women who go through pregnancy and give birth are unparalleled. These are necessary for housing and feeding a new human being. In the transition to fatherhood, men also undergo hormonal changes, although they are not as significant as those women experience.

From around four weeks before the birth of their first child to around five weeks after birth, men’s testosterone, vasopressin, and cortisol levels decrease, and their oxytocin levels slightly increase. These hormones are involved in many activities.

Photo: Tim Mossholder. Unsplash.

Testosterone is relevant when we are daring and competitive, vasopressin makes us alert, cortisol helps us respond to unexpected situations and is high when we are under stress, and oxytocin is well known as the love hormone but has more functions: It helps us recognize social signals, such as others’ emotions. These hormonal changes in fathers can be considered as functional for gentle interaction with and sensitive care for the baby.

The perinatal period

But it could also be the other way around: In the perinatal period, the new activities and routines of fathers may lead to changes in their hormone levels, which in turn support sensitive parenting.

For example, when fathers spend a few evenings a week on the couch cuddling with their baby rather than playing football, their cortisol levels probably decline and their oxytocin levels probably rise. This, in turn, may make them more patient when the baby protests during diaper changes. This idea of caregiving routines leading to change in hormonal levels is supported by new research on fathers’ brains.

Do men’s brains change when they become fathers?

There are (at least) three different ways to study human brains to measure change:

1. Brain structures
2. Activity of brain areas
3. Brain networks

1. Brain structures

The first is to look at brain structures, which can be seen as the hardware of the brain. Two studies found some change in fathers’ brain structures in the first months after the birth of the baby (Kim at al., 2014; Martínez-García et al., 2022), but another study did not find such changes (Hoekzema et al., 2016).

2. Activity of brain areas

The second way to study brains is to look at the activity of brain areas in response to child-related stimuli. Much of this research focuses on the sounds of infants crying because that is such an intense and meaningful sound. In their first period of life, it is the only way babies can attract their parents’ attention when they need something.

The transition to fatherhood is accompanied by changes in behavior, hormones, and the brain.

Indeed, many brain regions are activated when we hear crying sounds. But having children does make a difference: Adults without children show more activity in brain regions involved with cognitive processing when they hear infants crying, while adults with children show more emotional processing (Witteman et al., 2019).

3. Brain networks

While this second type of brain research focuses on separate brain regions, the third type of brain research looks at brain networks. For example, the parental brain network is a system of regions that are supposed to collaboratively support caregiving behavior.

New research shows no differences in this network between fathers during pregnancy and new fathers with a first-born baby of about 2 months, but a remarkable finding for fathers in the postnatal period emerged: The more fathers were involved in their children’s care, the stronger the connectivity in their parental brain network (Horstman et al., 2021). In other words, it does not matter whether or not men have a baby, but it matters how much caretaking they do.

Play helps fathers connect with their babies

Fathers and mothers are both similar and different in the ways they engage with their children. In general, mothers do the lion’s share of caregiving, such as feeding and bathing. When it comes to play, fathers and mothers are more similar in the amount of time they play or read stories with their child. This implies that when fathers and infants interact, it is often in the context of play (Amodia-Bidakowska et al., 2020).

Play is a perfect way for fathers to get to know their child, and to see what they like, what fears they may have, and how they overcome these fears with daddy’s help. This is as rewarding for fathers as it is for children, and it stimulates the attachment relationship (Monteiro et al., 2010).

Positive parenting in fathers starts with prenatal care

We stated earlier that the birth of a child is the birth of a father. Actually, being a parent starts before the birth of the child. Fathers are influential during pregnancy – they affect prenatal development through their own health, and they influence expectant mothers’ mental and physical health.

New research also shows that unborn babies are ready to interact with their fathers. Using ultrasound, we recorded how babies between the 21^st and 32^nd week of pregnancy responded when their fathers softly massaged mothers’ abdomen, read from a children’s book, or sang for their child (De Waal et al., 2022).

Babies can hear voices coming from outside the abdomen and can recognize their father’s voice. They can remember rhythms and music during pregnancy and even after birth when they heard them regularly during pregnancy. As pregnancy progresses, the skin of mothers’ abdomen thins, there is less amniotic fluid, and the babies’ nervous system develops, enabling them to feel and respond to touch.

Fathers’ caretaking of their baby may promote the hormonal and brain changes that support high-quality fathering.

In our research, we offered fathers three sessions with ultrasound-based interaction with their unborn baby. We saw on the screen how the babies responded when their fathers read to them from a children’s book or sang a lullaby. We used video-feedback reviewing of the ultrasound images to help them interpret their babies’ states, responses to the interaction (e.g., thumb sucking when dad read), and own initiatives (e.g., pushing against the wall of mother’s womb).

Fathers who received such prenatal video feedback were more sensitive during play with their babies after birth (Buisman et al., 2022). The video feedback may have made these dads more attuned to their babies, and may have spurred them to habitually check their baby’s face and other signals to adapt their own behavior or pace to the infant’s needs.

How to support new fathers during the prenatal period and after the birth

Fatherhood has many dimensions. The transition to fatherhood is accompanied by changes in behavior, hormones, and the brain. The intensity of these changes depends partly on sociocultural norms and expectations for fathers.

Sometimes fathers feel at a disadvantage: Prenatal and perinatal care is focused on mothers, and fathers can seem to be at some distance. While it would be a great opportunity for medical check-ups to extend the focus of ultrasounds to include possibilities for father-infant interaction, fathers can also create their own moments of togetherness at home, talking to their babies and softly massaging their babies through their partners’ skin. Getting to know each other can start before birth.

Photo: Amina Filkins. Pexels.

Societies with parental leave for fathers stimulate paternal involvement in early child care, giving fathers more opportunities to interact with their babies. In such contexts, changes in brains and hormonal levels will probably be more extensive than in contexts where fathers have few opportunities to be actively involved in child care. Paternal leave enables fathers to develop a relationship with their children from the beginning, which is just one of the arguments for paid paternal leave.

In some families, opportunities for fathers to engage are limited by mothers’ reluctance to trust fathers’ caregiving capacities. Called gatekeeping, this occurs when mothers want to take complete care of the baby themselves. It may be good to realize that fathers can be excellent caregivers, just like mothers, and that fathers’ caretaking of their baby may promote the hormonal and brain changes that support high-quality fathering.

The post Becoming a new father – The transition to fatherhood appeared first on Child and Family Blog.

Seventy attachment researchers with long track records in the field collaborated globally to produce a seminal statement concerning the widespread use of attachment theory in family courts.

The start of 2021 sees a major new contribution to family court practice by child development researchers. A 35-page “Consensus position based on the concerted body of attachment research” has been published, under the names of 70 leading attachment researchers. It is the most comprehensive statement ever produced on how attachment theory can be applied in family courts worldwide in the best interests of children. It also shows ways in which attachment theory is frequently misused.

This summary highlights the key points in the statement, but family court professionals who wish to learn more about this important topic should read the document in full. References to page numbers are included in this summary to enable quick access to the more detailed account.

The “best interests of the child” has become the fundamental consideration in family courts. The concept is included in the U.N. Convention on the Rights of the Child (1989): “In all actions concerning children, whether undertaken by public or private social welfare institutions, courts of law, administrative authorities or legislative bodies, the best interests of the child shall be a primary consideration (#3.1)” (p. 5).

This article addresses four issues:

1. The challenge of using attachment theory in family courts
2. What is attachment theory?
3. Three attachment principles for family court practice
4. Eight pieces of advice for family courts

1. The challenge of using attachment theory in family courts

A fundamental difficulty applying attachment science in family courts is that the science and the courts start from very different places. The measures used in attachment research are accurate enough to produce average scores that predict patterns of future child development across groups, but they are not sensitive enough to be used as diagnostic tools for individual families, which is what courts need (p. 5). Correlations found in attachment science, while statistically significant, may not be substantial, and rarely provide the basis for making a prediction about one individual (p. 21). Even the more fine-grained attachment assessments have been designed and validated for standardized contexts and may not apply in highly charged situations common in family courts.

“Family courts are under pressure to appear to base their decisions on evidence, and attachment theory has become by far the most popular theory among professionals working with children and families.”

Therefore, specific measures of attachment quality should be used with great caution. They may play a part, but only in combination with other assessments. Other measures include the child’s physical, cognitive, and socioemotional development, and very importantly, the capacity of a parent to provide care or be helped to develop caring skills. Above all, it is crucial to assess risk of harm to the child. Every one of these factors is hard to assess, not least because each can change over time, particularly if the assessment is made at a moment of heightened trauma and change (pp. 15-16, 20-21, 30-32).

Family courts are under pressure to appear to base their decisions on evidence, and attachment theory has become by far the most popular theory among professionals working with children and families. This creates an environment in which over-confidence about the application of attachment classifications or concepts to individual cases is common (p. 21). Because of the complexity of cases in family courts, proceedings can be influenced by personal opinions or cultural and social values and norms (pp. 5, 6, 32).

2. What is attachment theory?

2.1 Defining attachment

The 70 attachment researchers who contributed to the statement defined attachment this way:

Attachment refers to an affectional bond in which an individual is motivated to seek and maintain proximity to, and comfort from, particular familiar persons (Bowlby, 1969/1982). Children are born with a predisposition to develop this motivation in relation to significant others (“attachment figures”) who have been sufficiently present and responsive. For children, these persons are usually their caregivers. The motivation is held to be governed by an attachment behavioral system. This system seeks to maintain a certain degree of proximity between child and attachment figures, with the setting for desirable level changing dynamically in response to internal and external cues. The motivation to increase proximity is activated when a person is alarmed by internal cues (e.g. pain, illness) and/or external cues (e.g. fear-evoking stimuli, separation), and manifests in a tendency to seek the availability of an attachment figure. When the attachment system is strongly activated, some kind of physical contact with an attachment figure is generally sought, especially by infants, though this contact can also be achieved by non-physical means later in development … Caregivers who have regularly interacted with and protect the infant when the infant has been alarmed usually come to be represented by the infant as someone he or she can turn to when in need (i.e. as a safe haven). Importantly, even the most sensitive and responsive of caregivers necessarily “tune out” from time to time – to visit the bathroom, make tea, or even temporarily hand over caregiving to another trusted person familiar to the infant, while the caregiver attends to other matters. Thus, that a caregiver provides a safe haven does not necessitate that this person is constantly accessible for the infant physically, or even psychologically, or that the child is securely attached to that caregiver. Conversely, being physically present does not necessarily mean that a caregiver is emotionally available (pp. 7-8).

Photo: Yogendra Singh. Unsplash.

2.2 Attachment quality is measured by secure/insecure, not strong/weak

In attachment research, trained and certified coders measure the quality of attachment through standardized observation of children’s relative ability to use their caregiver as a safe haven to which they can turn for protection, and as a secure base from which they can explore the environment (p. 8).

Secure attachment manifests itself in the child’s expectation that the adult will be available in times of need. Insecure attachment manifests itself in the child’s expectation that the adult will be relatively unavailable (p. 8).

Insecure attachment is not weak and is extremely common and normal. Insecure attachment is an important strategy for children to maximize the potential availability of a caregiver who is unavailable or insensitive. An insecure attachment does not mean that the caregiver is never a safe haven for the child (pp. 10, 17).

Insecure attachment is observed in three forms:

• Insecure-avoidant is when the child does not seek his or her familiar person when mildly alarmed, but remains near (p. 17).
• Insecure-resistant is when the child seeks proximity but is not readily comforted and can show anger toward the caregiver. Both this and insecure-avoidant behavior are termed organized insecure attachment because they are coherent and work to increase the availability of less sensitive carers (p. 17).
• Disorganized attachment is when the child is conflicted, confused, or apprehensive about a family caregiver in a situation of mild to moderate alarm. It is often associated with frightened, frightening, or dissociative behavior on the part of the caregiver, or a caregiver’s hostility, withdrawal, or maltreatment (p. 18).

All these forms of insecure attachment correlate with later compromised child development, but even in the case of disorganized attachment, the associations are not strong enough to infer that observing insecure attachment foretells poor development outcomes for a specific child (p. 19).

Furthermore, researchers observe patterns of attachment in carefully controlled conditions that involve only mild to moderate stress for a child. Family courts commonly deal with children in situations of intense stress. Disorganized behavior on the part of a seriously stressed child does not necessarily imply disorganized attachment (p. 19).

“Specific measures of attachment quality should be used with great caution. They may play a part, but only in combination with other assessments.”

2.3 Attachment disorder differs from insecure attachment

The negative effects of insecure attachments, as presented earlier, are far surpassed by the potential damage of attachment disorder.

Two types of attachment disorder have been defined. Reactive attachment disorder is when a child shows a lack of care-seeking toward any caregiver when alarmed. Disinhibited social engagement disorder is when a child is over-friendly with unfamiliar people.

Reactive attachment disorder is seen in children who have experienced extremely inadequate caregiving in their early years, for example, those who have lived in institutions. The symptoms are reversible if the child is placed in a stable caregiving environment (p. 19).

2.4 Children form attachments with multiple caregivers

There is a widespread belief in the importance of one psychological parent, which emerges from the practice in some cultures of a single parent being the primary caregiver. A related idea has emerged: that an attachment with one person competes with other attachment relationships. Bowlby himself started with the idea of a single attachment in his 1969 book, but had changed his mind by the time he wrote his second book in 1984.

The reality is that children form attachment relationships with multiple caregivers simultaneously if they have sufficient time with the caregivers and if the caregivers provide enough of a safe haven in times of need. For decades, the vast majority of attachment researchers have believed that children benefit from having more than one safe haven (p. 6, 11-12).

The presence of multiple caregivers is the norm in many cultural settings across the world. Multiple caregivers and a network of attachment relationships constitute a protective factor in child development when caregiving is inconsistent (e.g., a caregiver is unwell or unavailable). This does not imply that the number of attachments is limitless, nor that a child may not prefer some caregivers over others. A child’s preferences are often shaped by the current accessibility of one carer over another and do not seem to depend on relative attachment quality with the caregivers. However, in the context of inter-parental conflict and custody disputes, less is known about how children’s preferences play out (p. 11-12).

While all attachments with regular caregivers are important, researchers’ opinions differ about whether a most familiar carer should be afforded priority in the early years. Variations in context – such as cultural and family factors – might influence the organization of continuous contact with different caregivers (p. 12).

“Insecure attachment is not weak and is very common – the average rate of insecure attachment in the general population is nearly half.”

2.5 New attachments can form

When a child and new caregiver spend sufficient time together, attachments usually form. The time together can activate not only the child’s attachment system but also a complementary caregiving system in the caregiver. Both are malleable. This is a relevant consideration in decisions about custody and overnight stays. However, no empirical research shows that overnight stays are a necessary condition for the development of an attachment relationship (p. 14).

Photo: Alan Wat. Creative Commons.

3. Three attachment principles for family court practice

In their statement, the researchers present three principles for family court practice based on a full consideration of attachment research.

Principle 1: A child needs to experience safe havens provided by particular, familiar, and non-abusive caregivers.

Two considerations are key:

• Limited contact with a caregiver makes it more difficult for a child to form, enhance, and maintain expectations of that caregiver’s availability in times of need.
• Almost all non-abusive and non-neglecting family-based care is likely to be better than institutional care (p. 25).

Principle 2: Safe, continuous, “good enough” care is in the child’s best interest and caregivers should be helped to provide it.

A safe haven requires particular familiar relationships and sufficiently continuous interaction with these caregivers. Even if another caregiving environment may be better in some way than the child’s current one, continuity of good enough care constitutes part of a child’s best interests. Disrupting existing attachments in favor of an “optimal” solution should be pursued with extreme caution (pp. 25-26).

Safe, continuous, good-enough care can be actively supported. Many studies and meta-analyses demonstrate effective interventions that improve caregiving quality. Many of these interventions are limited in time, typically lasting just 6 to 10 sessions (p. 26).

To this end, it is important to assess a caregiver’s potential to provide good enough care with sufficient support, not just the caregiver’s actual caregiving. The assessment also needs to consider a future time, if a current extreme state of distress diminishes the caregiver’s current ability (e.g., fear of loss of custody). Also, any particular intervention does not suit every caregiver, so alternatives should be made available (p. 32).

In families where roles were different prior to the separation, it is important to give the less experienced caregiver the opportunity to develop the ability to provide a safe haven (p. 12).

Bowlby put it this way in 1951: “Just as children are absolutely dependent on their parents for sustenance, so … are parents … dependent on greater society for economic provision. If a community values its children it must cherish their parents” (p. 28).

“The reality is that children form attachment relationships with multiple caregivers simultaneously.”

Principle 3: Maintain a child’s existing safe havens if they don’t pose a threat.

A decision to maintain a child’s existing safe havens does not provide a blueprint for allocating time in shared care arrangements. Time must be sufficient for attachment relationships to be developed and maintained (p. 28).

This principle can also apply to foster care, where relationships with biological parents can be maintained during fostering. Similarly, relationships with foster carers can maintained after foster care (p. 29).

In addition, grandparents, step-parents, siblings, and extended family members can often provide a safe haven for children (p. 29).

Photo: Frank Mckenna. Unsplash.

4. Eight pieces of advice for family courts

1. Do not equate attachment quality with caregiver sensitivity.

Caregiver sensitivity – the ability to notice a child’s signals, interpret them correctly, and respond to them appropriately and in a timely way – is, of course, important and correlates with attachment. However, gender norms can influence how care is expressed, and measures of safe haven and caregiver sensitivity may be shaped by gendered assumptions about caregiving (pp. 8-9). For example, sensitive caregiving in mothers predicts secure attachment more than it does in fathers, suggesting that other factors play a greater role in father-child attachment.

2. Do not equate attachment quality with relationship quality.

Relationships are made up of more than attachment alone. Other factors, such as basic physical care, play, supervision, teaching/learning, setting standards for conduct, and discipline, are also important (p. 9).

3. Do not interpret one-off behaviors of children as reliably indicating attachment quality.

Children’s behaviors depend on context. Attachment is measured in very controlled contexts. A very frightened child behaves differently than a less frightened child. A child in a highchair may cry in response to a threatening noise, but not cry if he or she is free to move to the caregiver. Children’s behaviors are also a function of their individual temperaments (p. 9).

4. The Tender Years Doctrine is wrong.

The Tender Years Doctrine holds that custody automatically goes to the mother for children under a certain “tender” age. While this concept has been formally replaced in most countries by standards related to the best interests of the child, it remains influential (p. 13). In Israel, it remains the policy: custody automatically goes to the mother for children under the age of six. The researchers state: “We are in full consensus that the ultimate establishment of a network of attachment relationships is generally a protective factor in the long term and thus a desirable outcome in child development. We are also in full agreement that losses of and permanent separations from attachment figure are in themselves risk factors that should be prevented wherever possible in child development.” (p.13)

5. Overnight care with a second parent is not inherently harmful for children.

In the 1990s, researchers concluded that co-parenting arrangements that included overnight visits to the co-parent were associated with insecurity in a child’s attachment with the resident parent (Solomon & George, 1999). However, the data presented in the study actually showed that parental conflict, not overnight stays, was  the problem. The inaccurate conclusion of this study has been quoted frequently to defend a position that is not supported by this or other evidence (p. 13).

The key question regarding decisions about overnight stays is whether the child experiences a safe haven with each caregiver. Of course, having a secure attachment does not preclude a child being unsettled for a time by unfamiliarity with, say, a new home. Also, the application of Principle 2 (safe, continuous, “good enough” care is in the child’s best interest and caregivers should be helped to provide it) requires attention to actively enabling the caregiver to develop a safe haven over time (p. 14).

“It is important to assess a caregiver’s potential to provide good enough care with sufficient support, not just the caregiver’s actual caregiving.”

6. Addressing and reducing conflict is key.

Inter-parental conflict and hostility undermine a parent’s own caring competencies and ability to let the other parent provide care. Interventions to reduce parental conflict are important (pp. 14-15).

If courts are clear about their decisions regarding custody and time allocation, they can increase parents’ capacity to overcome conflict. Similarly, if courts are clear about their commitment to the three principles outlined earlier, caregivers’ anxiety can be reduced and their motivation for cooperation increased (p. 33).

7. Ensure that family court professionals are adequately trained in attachment assessment.

While attachment theory is typically a mandatory part of professionals’ training, specialist training in assessing attachment quality is not. This can lead to attachment theory being either under-estimated or used with over-confidence. If assessments of attachment are used, they must be performed by formally trained observers (pp. 23, 31).

8. Take evidence directly from experts, not via representing parties.

Appeals to attachment in family courts would be less partial, more balanced, and more aligned with convergent evidence if courts called in experts, rather than the representing parties (p. 23).

The post How to apply attachment theory in family courts: The world’s leading experts weigh in appeared first on Child and Family Blog.

Fathers have been at home more and have been more available to their children, allowing them to hone play skills that support child development.

More playtime with dad during the COVID-19 pandemic may turn out to be one of the few positives to emerge for children from the virus. It could also serve as some compensation for children’s considerable losses in school learning and access to friends.

Many children may have benefited during this time from the special contribution of playing with fathers to their social, cognitive, and emotional development.

That’s because many fathers have spent more time at home during the pandemic. They have also spent more time caring for their children. While that shift has been particularly pronounced during the pandemic, according to official data, it also reflects a longer-term trend, going back 40 years, of gradually increasing paternal involvement.

On average, fathers spend a higher proportion of their time caring for children than mothers playfully interacting with their children. That share may have shifted during the pandemic, but the amount of time overall that dads spend playing is likely to have risen.

“The pandemic reminds policymakers how jobs can be remodelled to help fathers participate more in their children’s lives.”

Playing with dad helps children develop

Children’s extra playtime with their fathers matters for several reasons. First, when parents spend more time with their children, they strengthen their skills in areas that are crucial to play – understanding what interests children, following their lead, and generally being more sensitive to them. In short, many fathers have become more closely attuned to their children’s play and to the pace at which they learn.

Photo: Mikael Stenberg. Unsplash.

 Learning to be patient and follow a child’s lead can be challenging. Some young children take a long time to learn a new skill for the first time and once they have learned it, may want to perform the new skill again and again. Unattuned adults may wish to rush them, do it for them, or move on to something else.

Second, fathers’ play makes a measurable and considerable difference to outcomes for children. Playing with dad is consistently linked to children being able to learn better and make friendships. More playtime with dads is also associated with less anxiety and fewer behavioral problems for children, who are less likely to get in trouble at school or fight with their peers.

The special quality of fathers’ play

Third, fathers’ play has some special qualities. Typically, it exposes children to a second person who is important in their lives. It also allows children to experience styles of parenting that differ from those demonstrated by their mother. As a result, children are exposed to differences and surprises in a safe environment. This can help them build capacities to manage change and difficulties in relationships.

Focusing too much on dads’ rough and tumble play with their children is unwise. We should avoid making it emblematic of fatherhood. Lots of moms engage in this type of play, too. And many dads can also spend quiet time with their children, sitting with them and cuddling them, and we should not think of this as “un-dad-like” behavior. Nevertheless, rough and tumble play has real value and is an area in which many fathers feel confident.

“One take-home message for fathers is to get stuck in and try to make time to play with their children from the outset.”

Even very young babies benefit from fathers’ play

The skills that fathers bring in playfully exciting young children can benefit not only toddlers but also young babies. In my studies on fathers’ playful interactions with 3-month-olds, fathers’ engagement predicted fewer behavioral problems at 12 months and higher cognitive scores at 2 years.

It’s important that dads understand these findings because some may lack confidence in and feel reticent about caring for their babies. They – and others – may subscribe to the mistaken view that dads’ impact on children’s lives begins later. We also need to fight the mistaken cultural belief that very young babies don’t notice much about what’s happening around them. After 20 years doing child development research, I know that babies have a great capacity to notice and learn from very early in their lives.

What should dads do?

One take-home message for fathers is to get stuck in and try to make time to play with their children from the outset. Fathers can bring something important to their children, even and perhaps especially when they are very young. Dads might not feel confident at first, but they shouldn’t worry: They should just play and, with practice, they will get better at it. I advise fathers to try a range of activities beyond rough-and-tumble play. It’s also okay for fathers to sit quietly with a toy or a book and just snuggle up with their children. At least some of time, dads should slow down, follow their child’s lead, and play at their pace.

Photo: Humphrey Muleba. Unsplash.

The pandemic has introduced stresses that can undermine play. When people are stressed, the focus of their attention narrows so they attend less well to their relationships. We have seen this shift in studies of the impact depression in fathers — there was a reduction in the surprises that fathers typically built into play with their children, who were subsequently exposed to a narrower range of play. So, as COVID-19’s effects continue, we should be mindful to protect parents’ mental health.

Overall, the pandemic highlights the important role of fathers in child development. The past year should help policymakers recognize how jobs can be remodelled to help fathers participate more in their children’s lives. It also reminds family service practitioners to emphasize, facilitate, and capitalize on the assets that fathers, as well as mothers, can bring to their children from the earliest ages.

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