Key takeaways for caregivers

• Co-sleeping, typically defined as infants sharing a room or a bed with parents, is common worldwide but varies in acceptability across cultures. It is practiced less in U.S. culture and parents vary widely in how they view it.
• Pediatric organizations (e.g., the American Academy of Pediatrics ) do not endorse bedsharing, and although the AAP does not appear averse to roomsharing per se, research in Western cultures has linked persistent co-sleeping (i.e.., bedsharing, roomsharing, or a combination of both) beyond six months to parent and infant issues.
• Our research found a link between co-sleeping and more sleep disturbances among parents, especially mothers, which may occur in any culture where co-sleeping occurs.
• Co-sleeping was also associated with greater co-parenting distress and poorer quality of bedtime parenting, which may be more likely in cultures where co-sleeping is less accepted.
• Infants’ sleep did not appear to be affected by co-sleeping.
• Decisions about co-sleeping with one’s infant are ultimately personal choices. If practiced, co-sleeping should be done safely, following AAP guidelines, and co-sleeping parents should take steps to nurture their relationship as a couple.

Article contents:

1. Questions about parent-infant sleep arrangements are complex
2. Do infant sleep arrangements relate to infant and parent sleep quality or parenting behaviors?
3. Parent-infant co-sleeping was linked to poorer maternal sleep and parenting issues
4. Effects of parent-infant co-sleeping are likely to be culturally specific
5. Promoting co-parenting and safe and healthy sleep may be most critical

1. Questions about parent-infant sleep arrangements are complex

How parents should structure their infants’ sleep and whether infants should sleep by themselves (in a separate room) or co-sleep with their parent(s) (i.e., in the same room or the same bed as the parent(s)) is a controversial, sensitive, and personal topic. At the heart of the matter are arguments about what is best for babies and beliefs about that vary widely.

These beliefs are informed by cultural prescriptions, recommendations from medical professionals who argue against bedsharing for safety reasons, evolutionary biologists who argue for bedsharing because it protects infants, individual parental beliefs, availability of sleep spaces and other practical considerations (e.g., convenience), and infants’ age.

Adding to the confusion and controversy, in Western cultures, infant sleep arrangements are fluid during the first year, with parents more likely to co-sleep soon after birth than later. This makes it more challenging to identify whether a family co-sleeps.

Photo: Sarah Chai. Pexels.

Choices about where infants should sleep and for how long may not be just about what is best for the baby, but also about what is best for the family.

Some studies suggest that parents who co-sleep with their infants may be at risk for marital and co-parenting distress. Parents, particularly mothers, who co-sleep with their infants also awaken more at night and have more sleep problems than do parents and infants who sleep in separate rooms.

2. Do infant sleep arrangements relate to infant and parent sleep quality or parenting behaviors?

Choices about infant sleep arrangements can be confusing and may be influenced by competing needs and demands. To better understand how parenting and infant and parent sleep affect family life, in our recent study, we examined sleep arrangement patterns across infants’ first six months of life.

We assessed 124 U.S. families when infants were one, three, and six months old. Most mothers and fathers were White (8%), married or living with a partner (95%), and in their 30s; 57% of the infants were girls.

Ninety-nine percent of parents had completed high school and about two-thirds had a bachelor’s degree or higher. Most fathers (89%) and mothers (61%) mothers worked full or part time when their babies were one month old; median yearly family income was $65,000.

To measure participants’ nighttime sleep, we used activity monitors (actigraphs) that parents wore on their wrists and put on infants’ calves at bedtime for seven consecutive days.

We also measured mothers’ emotional availability with their infants (e.g., warmth, sensitivity) during infants’ bedtimes (from video recordings made by parents).

Mothers also completed questionnaires to assess the quality of positive co-parenting (e.g., support and endorsement of one’s partner) and negative co-parenting (e.g., amount of conflict with and undermining by one’s partner). Infant sleep arrangements were determined from the video recordings of the infants at night.

It is parents’ sleep, and particularly mothers’ sleep, that may be affected most by co-sleeping.

3. Parent-infant co-sleeping was linked to poorer maternal sleep and parenting issues

From the video recordings when babies were three and six months old, we identified three patterns of sleep arrangement:

• Solitary sleeping (infants slept in a room separate from their parents at both ages),
• Co-sleeping (infants slept in the same room or the same bed as their parents at both ages)
• Co-sleeping to solitary sleeping (infants roomed with or shared a bed with a parent at three months and were moved to a room of their own by six months).

Babies who slept in the same room as their parents rarely spent all their time on a sleeping surface separate from their parents, even with a crib in the room. Videos showed that mothers frequently brought their babies to the parents’ bed in response to infants’ distress, with infants falling asleep in the parents’ bed without being immediately returned to the crib.

Consistent with other research, co-sleeping families were more likely than the other two groups to have lower socioeconomic status, be non-White and unemployed, and have fewer years of education.

We also saw patterns relating to duration of breastfeeding and parents’ symptoms of depression and anxiety. We used statistical techniques to consider those patterns and explore specific relations between co-sleeping and both sleep quality and co-parenting, finding that:

1. Mothers had poorer sleep quality if they co-slept. Fathers who co-slept with their infants experienced more varied sleep quality across the week than fathers whose infants slept alone.
2. Infants’ sleep quality was not related to sleeping arrangement at all.
3. Mothers reported less positive and more negative co-parenting, and were observed to be less emotionally available to their infants at bedtime.

Our results are consistent with other work showing that compared to non-co-sleeping, persistent co-sleeping is linked to poorer parental sleep, particularly mothers’ sleep, and with more co-parenting distress and less emotionally available parenting.

Photo: RDNE Stock project. Pexels.

Our finding that infants’ sleep was unrelated to sleep arrangement indicates that it is parents’ sleep, particularly mothers’ sleep, that may be affected most by co-sleeping. This does not bode well for long-term maternal well-being: Chronic sleep problems can increase individuals’ risk for depression, which can affect relationships with other family members.

4. Effects of parent-infant co-sleeping are likely to be culturally specific

Our study was done in the United States, a culture that, by and large, does not support persistent co-sleeping. Parents who engage in persistent co-sleeping in a culture that does not support it may be criticized for engaging in a practice some consider harmful to babies – despite that fact that our study did not find any negative associations between co-sleeping and infant sleep.

Such criticism is based solely on the tendency of members of a culture to accept a cultural prescription as “the right thing to do” without supporting evidence. Researchers should replicate our study in a culture in which co-sleeping is more accepted to determine whether findings are similar or different.

When co-sleeping is culturally embraced, parents who co-sleep are less likely to be criticized by family members and friends.

We suspect that the link that we found between co-sleeping and heightened sleep disturbances among parents, especially mothers, would be culturally ubiquitous, but the links among co-sleeping, co-parenting distress, and reduced maternal emotional availability with infants at bedtime would not.

This is because sleeping near one’s infant is likely to affect parents’ sleep, regardless of the cultural backdrop. In contrast, the association of co-sleeping with heightened family stress should be less likely when co-sleeping is culturally accepted.

For example, when co-sleeping is culturally embraced, parents who co-sleep are less likely to be criticized by family members and friends.

Photo: Kevin Liang. Unsplash.

5. Promoting co-parenting and safe and healthy sleep may be most critical

Do these findings lead us to recommend that parents not co-sleep with their infants?

Assuming parents follow medical recommendations for safe sleep (e.g., the AAP guidelines; i.e., avoiding bedsharing, eliminating loose bedding and clothing, and placing infants in a supine position on the sleeping surface), we do not make such a broad recommendation.

Although our study’s co-sleeping parents as a group appeared to be at higher risk for family distress than were parents who slept without their babies, even when they said they preferred to co-sleep, some parents who co-sleep did not experience heightened co-parenting distress, nor were they less emotionally available to their infants at bedtime than parents of infants who slept alone.

It appeared that these parents were on board with their choice of sleep arrangement. The parents’ relationship with each other was not compromised, which suggests that they took time to nurture their relationship as a couple (e.g., not just in terms of co-parenting but by making time for themselves and each other) and that co-sleeping with their infants did not interfere.

Thus, to the extent that parents are aware that co-sleeping can interfere with their sleep and their relationship as a couple, and take steps to promote each other’s sleep and their relationship with each other, the choice to co-sleep may not be at all problematic. We did not conduct interviews or collect information about this idea and believe it would be an important question to explore.

The post Infant-parent co-sleeping: What do sleep arrangements mean for families? appeared first on Child and Family Blog.

• Supportive fathers influence their children in significant ways, including the development of cognitive and social skills.
• The positive impact of fathers is greater when fathers’ relationships with mothers are strong and supportive.
• Fathers can help their children’s development through supportive and involved parenting and engaging activities, such as reading books and playing.

To fully understand the significance of a father’s influence on his children, we will explore four key areas:

1. Father-child attachment and later development
2. Father influence on a child’s achievements
3. Father influence on a child’s social skills
4. The mother-father relationship

1. Father-child attachment influences children’s later development

When there is a strong father-child attachment in the first two years, research shows a link with the child’s later social skills, cognitive skills (e.g., language, school achievement) and behavior. In this way, fathers influence their children’s futures.

These links between strong father-child attachment and later child development are greatest when fathers are more involved in parenting. This suggests that involved fathers have the potential to make a big difference in their child’s life.

Involved fathers have the potential to make a big difference in their child’s life.

2. Fathers have a significant influence on their child’s achievements

Fathers who provide primary care for their two-year-olds have children who achieve higher scores on academic tests. (The same is true of mothers.) Anne Martin and her team found that mothers and fathers who provided primary care for their children when they were two had five-year-olds with higher arithmetic and language scores.

Eirini Flouri and Ann Buchanan found that British children with more involved fathers had higher IQs at age seven than did children with less involved fathers. Other researchers have found similar associations at 11 years and 16 years.

Some researchers have worked to distinguish fathers’ influences on educational performance from the effects of other wider family and community influences. The links remain: Fathers who are supportive appear to promote their children’s language and cognitive development.

3. Fathers influence their children’s social skills

In a large British study, when mothers reported that fathers were involved with their seven-year-olds, the children were more likely to report being close to their fathers at 16 and to have less contact with police during adolescence. Other researchers have found even longer-lasting links – fathers’ involvement with their six-year-olds appeared to positively influence  the feelings of their offspring when they were in their 30s, more than 25 years later.

Photo: Mieke Campbell. Pexels.

High levels of paternal involvement in childhood also predict offspring’s social interaction styles in adulthood, as well as their married relationships, parenting skills, and mental health. The converse has also been shown – low paternal involvement and poor child-father attachments predict more psychological and social problems later.

Ross Parke and his colleagues found that a physically playful and affectionate father-son relationship predicted sons’ later popularity with peers. Other researchers have found that fathers who were more sensitive to their five-year-olds’ emotional states had more socially competent children three years later.

Researchers have examined whether fathers and mothers exert different influences on the social development of their children. It is very difficult to separate these influences from the many roles mothers and fathers play in different families. However, researchers have found that children who reported secure attachments to both their parents were more likely to report positive friendships than children who did not.

Mothers influence father-child relationships and fathers influence mother-child relationships.

4. The mother-father relationship influences children

The last 20 years have seen a lot of research on how family members influence the relationships of other family members with children. Studies suggest that mothers influence father-child relationships and fathers influence mother-child relationships.

A key influence on the father-child relationship is how supportive the mother is of this relationship, as well as the quality of the mother-father relationship.

The inverse is also true: Both the father and the mother-father relationship influence the mother-child relationship, but the influence is less. This may be because maternal behavior is framed by clearer conventions and role definitions, while fathers’ roles and behavior are more influenced by what mothers believe.

Mothers’ mental health also affects the father-child relationship, and fathers’ mental health affects the mother-child relationship. Sometimes the response can be compensatory. For example, when mothers suffer from postnatal depression, fathers often engage in more positive interactions with their babies.

Conclusion

The conclusion of this research is clear: A father who wants to be close to his children and positively influence their future should invest in relationships with both the children and their mothers.

The post The significance of a father’s influence on his children appeared first on Child and Family Blog.

• Consider fathers’ health behaviors as well as mothers’,
• Assess and treat fathers’ mental health as well as mothers’,
• Treat family stress and attend to the couple relationship, and
• Provide access for fathers to family leave.

Much research focuses on how mothers-to-be influence babies’ health and development before and during pregnancy – touching on mothers’ environments, emotions, and behaviors. Mothers-to-be are often advised to alter their lifestyles accordingly.

Less attention is paid to fathers, but there is sufficient evidence to make a case for practice and policy to change in this regard.

This research review sets out seven ways fathers influence children’s development during pregnancy, providing a useful tool for planners of prenatal services and policies.

1. Epigenetic and genetic changes: Prior health behaviors

• Obesity is associated with epigenetic changes that predict restricted growth in childhood.
• Alcohol affects the sperm epigenome and is a risk factor for alcohol use and alcohol sensitivity in offspring.
• Fathers’ diabetes and fast-food consumption predict earlier births.

2. Epigenetic and genetic changes: Exposure to environmental toxins

• Exposure to workplace welding fumes is linked with higher prevalence of congenital abnormalities (Egyptian study).
• Fathers exposed to pesticides (e.g., nematocide, dibromochloropropane, ethylene dibromide) are more likely to have suboptimal sperm quality.

3. Epigenetic and genetic changes: Early life stress

• Children of fathers who survived the Holocaust and fathers with post-traumatic stress disorder show epigenetic differences, namely increased DNA methylation in a promoter region of the glucocorticoid receptor. These are linked with increased prevalence of psychiatric illness and reduced cortisol levels in the children.
• Studies of mothers have shown links between their exposure to disasters (e.g., natural disasters, terrorist attacks, COVID-19) and outcomes for their children. No such research exists for fathers but it would likely reveal similar links.

4. Neurobiological and hormonal changes

• First-time fathers with a higher prenatal testosterone level report less effective and positive parenting six months after the birth.
• First-time fathers with a higher prenatal oxytocin level endorse a more nurturing parenting philosophy after the child’s birth.

“This research review sets out seven ways fathers influence children’s development during pregnancy, providing a useful tool for planners of antenatal services and policies.”

5. Influences on expectant mothers’ health behaviors

• Alcohol use by an expectant father is linked to higher alcohol use by pregnant mothers (Ukrainian study).
• Expectant mothers engage more in prenatal health actions such as stopping smoking when their male partners do more caregiving (e.g., listening to baby’s heartbeat, purchasing items for baby, attending prenatal classes).

6. Influences on expectant mothers’ mental health

• A higher quality of couple relationship is associated with expectant mothers’ lower distress, which in turn is associated with more positive temperament of the baby (U.S. study).
• More relationship conflict correlates with greater incidences of medically complex births. Much research links prenatal stress in mothers to premature birth and low birth weight.
• Depression in expectant fathers correlates with depression in expectant mothers. Joint mental health symptoms in two parents prenatally predict the same symptoms in the parents 12 months after the birth, which in turn correlate with children’s executive function problems at 7-8 years (Finnish study).

7. Influences on mothers’ hormones

• A couple’s hormonal levels tend to synchronize and follow similar patterns. Lower testosterone levels in both expectant parents predict greater investment by the father in the parenting relationship after the birth.
• When cortisol levels are lower in both expectant parents, there is likely to be less conflict between them before birth and less depression on the part of the father after the birth.
• Hormonal changes in mothers can affect fetal development and children’s long-term social and emotional development.

The post Expectant fathers influence child development prenatally and services need to respond accordingly appeared first on Child and Family Blog.

The researchers conclude: “The present study challenges the assumption that women are more suited to primary caregiving than men … fathers and mothers are equally competent at parenting in the primary caregiving role.”

Based on this finding, they recommend: “The high quality of parenting demonstrated by the primary caregiver fathers suggests that more fathers should be encouraged to be highly involved parents. To do so, policies facilitating this, such as shared parental leave and flexible work, including more part-time employment options, need to be widely promoted both by governments and by individual organizations.”

Previous research on primary caregiver fathers has often focused on gay fathers who became parents through adoption and surrogacy. These studies also found that children’s adjustment was positive. This study extends the research to heterosexual parent couples.

“The high quality of parenting demonstrated by the primary caregiver fathers suggests that more fathers should be encouraged to be highly involved parents.”

The study took place in the United Kingdom between 2017 and 2019,  and involved 41 primary caregiver fathers, 45 primary caregiver mothers, and 41 dual earner couples (both mother and father). The primary caregiver mothers and fathers had been the primary caregivers for at least 6 months, with children from 3 to 6 years old. Their partner was the primary wage earner; some primary caregivers (fathers more than mothers) were also employed part time or worked flexibly from home, but they spent more time caregiving than working. In the dual earner families, both parents were in paid employment and many worked full time. The families were mostly White and highly educated, and had no serious financial difficulties.

Through questionnaires and interviews, the researchers used previously tested measures to assess depression, anxiety, stress, social support, marital quality, the coparenting relationship, parental acceptance/rejection of the child, parenting quality, and children’s behavior. When assessing children’s behavior, the children’s preschool or schoolteacher also completed a questionnaire.

This research confirms a large body of earlier research showing that the parenting behaviors of fathers and mothers are similar, as is their influence on children’s development. Primary caregiver fathers typically describe their role in nurturing terms as fostering a close bond with their child.

In one study, compared to primary earner fathers, primary caregiver fathers showed higher emotional tone and their 12-month-olds showed more positive mood. In another study, very involved fathers had a more playful interaction style than the mothers, though both these mothers and fathers smiled more and imitated their child more than less-involved fathers. In other studies, primary caregiver mothers were more affectionate with their 3-month-olds and their 8- to 12-month-olds than primary caregiver fathers.

Other studies have found that primary caregiver fathers face particular social pressures – social isolation in a mother-dominated world of playgroups and playgrounds, the stigma of adopting a non-traditional role, and less social support. However, in this study, the fathers reported positive well-being. Perhaps the strong marital relationships and coparenting arrangements were enough to compensate for any additional social pressure.

The post Primary Caregiver Fathers and Mothers Are Equally Competent appeared first on Child and Family Blog.

Parental conflict is common in many families, and childhood depression, anxiety, and aggression may be the outcome.

Low-level, poorly resolved conflict between parents – bickering, giving the cold shoulder, eye-rolling – can seem inconsequential. It isn’t physical violence, after all. But it is a feature in many families. And such behavior may help explain enduring mental health problems for many children, including depression, anxiety, poor sleep, and aggressive behavior.

Reducing this type of chronic interparental conflict and tension helps children feel the emotional security they need for robust mental health – not only when they are young but also as adults.

Most people recognize that engaging in yelling matches, throwing things, and acting in ways that are physically aggressive are unhealthy conflict behaviors that can harm children’s development. However, the wider issue is more subtle. It’s about how parents tackle commonplace, sometimes tiny disagreements that all couples can expect to have – conflicts that are natural, inevitable occurrences in any intimate relationship.

A disagreement might be about politics. It might be about who folds the laundry. Many parents don’t see eye to eye on issues related to work-life balance – they may argue about who is spending enough time on child care. A couple from one of our studies was adamant that they had never had a conflict in 27 years of marriage. Eventually, they acknowledged that for nearly three decades, they had disagreed about whether the peanut butter should be kept in the pantry or the refrigerator.

“It’s about how parents tackle commonplace, sometimes tiny disagreements that are natural, inevitable occurrences in any intimate relationship.”

Smoldering battles lead to hypervigilance

How parents tackle such apparently minor (and major) differences matters to children’s mental health. Some couples focus their attention not on collaborating or solving the problem, but on insults, verbal anger, or non-verbal expressions of anger. Friction can be caused by one parent pursuing the dispute through continual nagging and the other parent withdrawing. Small conflicts may remain unresolved for lengthy periods, festering, creating tension, and harming children’s mental health.

Damage is done not by a single or even a few instances, but by chronic interactions of these kinds. They compound and accumulate, stacking up and eroding relationships. Early thinking suggested that if parents bickered a lot, children would get used to it and become desensitized. But studies since the 1980s have demonstrated the opposite: Amid chronic marital conflict, children may become increasingly sensitive to the episodes. They can become hypervigilant, tracking signs for a conflict breaking out. This can make them prone to spotting conflict where there is none or where the typical person might ignore what’s going on. Such focus can be exhausting emotionally for a child.

It is a mistake to believe that children are unaware when parental battles happen behind closed doors. Children are highly tuned to their families’ emotional climate. They can tell if there is tension; they don’t have to witness it. They also recognize when conflict has been resolved, even if they haven’t witnessed the resolution.

Constructive conflict can benefit children 

In contrast, children’s mental health can benefit when parents behave constructively around their conflicts. When parents have differences, they can talk calmly together and focus on solving the problem. Perhaps they touch each other gently while talking, maybe even use kindly humor with one another. This might even have a boosting effect on children – they see that their parents can work out differences so they feel that their family is safe and secure. The children don’t need to worry that their family system will be disrupted. They can expend their energies elsewhere.

Photo: OUCHcharley. Creative Commons.

We should take seriously the risks posed by widespread, poor resolution of disputes among parents. Most children are exposed to parental disagreement on almost a daily basis: Poorly resolved parental conflict is an important factor in mental health outcomes. Family history of the home environment is a robust predictor of good and bad outcomes. 

Children feel emotionally insecure

The wide range of mental health outcomes associated with interparental conflict suggests that several mechanisms may be involved. One pathway relates to children’s sense of emotional security: They need to feel that their family system is safe and secure.

Destructive, unresolved interparental conflict can make children uneasy about the strength of the emotional bonds that are vital for their survival. As a result, children might act out to stop the conflict, or withdraw into themselves and into negative feelings to avoid such threats. In the short run, such strategies can help children manage life with their parents, but in the longer term, these types of learned behaviors – applied to other situations, such as at school or with friends – aren’t good for them or those around them.

“Children are highly tuned into their families’ emotional climate. They can tell if there is tension; they don’t have to witness it.”

Children may blame themselves for conflict

Another pathway involves the thoughts children may have during interparental conflicts. Some children blame themselves, thinking: “I’ve made Mom and Dad fight. I’m responsible.” These feelings of self-blame can fester and break down children’s self-worth. Children who cannot stop their parents’ fighting may feel they have failed, which can lead to depression.

The implications of poorly managed parental conflict do not stop there. This type of conflict is correlated with parental depression and the quality of the parent-child relationship. Some parents imagine they can compartmentalize conflict with their partner. However, if you are angry with your spouse, you may unintentionally take it out on your children, snapping at them and parenting in a harsher manner. Or you may feel exhausted and withdraw, lacking the energy to engage with your children in a meaningful way. There may also be “compensatory” spillover, where a parent turns to a child for comfort, placing undue pressure on the child to make up for the loss of an unfulfilling relationship with the partner. 

Damage may endure into adulthood

Research suggests that these mental health impacts of mishandled interparental conflict can often endure into adulthood: Even after children have become adults and left home, the quality of their parents’ relationship can still affect their mental health and well-being. This might be partly because couples can get stuck for years in a negative way of interacting, exposing their children to chronic interparental conflict throughout development. Additionally, children may model their parents’ pattern of interaction in their own relationships, which may further damage their mental health.

 It’s never too late for parents to change

 There are ways to prevent these injurious impacts. Smaller studies have shown that interventions with parents can lead them to handle conflicts more constructively, encouraging them to solve problems together and speak kindly to each other. These interventions have led to short-term improvements in children’s mental well-being. Interventions to support parents’ mental health and develop positive parenting also make a difference. Important relationships with peers, other adults, or a sibling also buffer the impact on children of interparental conflict. Policymakers, researchers, and practitioners have important work to do to translate this decades-long research into large-scale interventions needed to bolster millions of families affected by this phenomenon.

For parents who get stuck in poor ways of managing conflict, it’s never too late to try healthier ways of tackling differences. But it’s best to start early, before children are exposed. Otherwise, the occasional negative interactions may gradually become so much the norm that nobody realizes what’s happened to a once-loving couple relationship – or to the children.

The post Chronic, low-level parental conflict contributes to children’s mental health problems appeared first on Child and Family Blog.

The better the parental relationship the higher the level of education reached by children, on average (Nepal)

In a study in Nepal, children whose parents reported loving each other attained higher levels of education and married later, on average. In fact, the happier the parents were with their relationship, the later their children were likely to marry. The strong correlations were found for both boys and girls, for families of all ethnicities (including different castes), and for parents of different levels of education and wealth.

The data were taken from the Chitwan Valley Family Study in Nepal. At the start of the study, in 1996, married mothers and fathers individually completed questionnaires that included two very simple questions about their marital relationship: “How much do you love your husband/wife?” and “Has your husband/wife ever beaten you?” Then, 12 years later, mothers were asked to recount their children’s progress. The mothers reported how long children who were 16 or younger in 1996 stayed in education. They also reported when their children who were 15-24 in 1996 got married. The study included 2,714 children in the educational measurement and 667 children in the marriage measurement.

Combining their findings with those from other studies – mostly in developed countries – the researchers propose three mechanisms by which a happy marital relationship might benefit children:

• Happier couples may be investing more resources in their children, which could be influencing their education positively.
• Children in happy families are likely to enjoy stronger socialization generally and may develop stronger commitment to family life. This could influence later marriage, something that is associated with more stability in marriage.
• Children are likely to want to stay longer in a happy home. In Nepal, young people rarely live alone or with housemates or in school/work accommodation, so marriage is the main route out of living at home.

Marriage is almost universal in Nepal, with arranged marriages still predominant. Unmarried cohabitation and divorce are rare. The situation, however, is changing. In the data used for this study, no spouses married in 1936-45 reported being involved in the choice of their spouse. About half who married in 1986-95 were involved. The median age of women marrying was 16.4 in 1996 and 17.9 in 2016. These trends are characteristic of the whole of South Asia.

The post When the parental relationship is better, children do better (Nepal) appeared first on Child and Family Blog.

Study has found that mothers prone to anxiety, stress, guilt and frustration are more likely to be harsh parents if the father is not supportive.

Mothers who are prone to anxiety, nervousness, stress, guilt, frustration and anger are likely to be harsher parents to their children only if the father is not supportive of their parenting, according to a study of 182 dual-earner couples in Ohio, USA.

This is perhaps not surprising. In the presence of an undermining coparent, an anxious and frustrated mother is unlikely to handle parenting well. Conversely, a supportive coparent can mitigate the impact of the mother’s difficulties, allowing her to parent without being harsh and intrusive.

The study did not find the influence the other way round. There was no link between a father being prone to anxiety and stress and his parenting, either when the mother was supportive of him or not.

Earlier research shows that harsh parenting – angry, hostile, intrusive and controlling – is associated with poorer child development. On this basis, the researchers recommend that those who support families should address not only the mother’s personality, but the coparenting relationships in her family. If a mother is prone to anxiety, her partner may need more help to perform a positive coparenting role.

The parents in this research, however, were a nonclinical sample, without high needs. The levels of undermining coparenting and harsh intrusive parenting among them were low, though there was ample variability on each measure. They were married, dual-earner, different-sex couples who were the biological parents of the children; 75% of the mothers and 65% of the fathers had a university degree, and 86% were white.

Researchers use the term “neuroticism” to describe the combined tendencies towards anxiety, nervousness, stress, guilt, frustration and anger. Neuroticism was measured in both mothers and fathers during the third trimester of pregnancy. They were asked to rate statements like “I feel inferior to others”, “I often feel tense and jittery” and “I often feel helpless and want someone else to solve my problems”.

Coparenting was assessed later, when the baby was three months old, by observing parents changing the baby’s onesie together. The parents were asked to divide the task of removing the onesie and putting the new one on between them. Supportive coparenting was measured by the degree to which the parents helped each other with their respective tasks, displayed affection to each other and took pleasure in watching the other interact with the baby. Undermining coparenting is characterized by the opposite: criticism, disparagement, competition for the child’s attention and disregarding the other parent’s competence or authority.

Finally, the quality of individual parenting was assessed when the baby was nine months old. Each parent was asked to play separately with the child for five minutes, using either a shape sorter or stacking rings. Intrusiveness is characterized by the parent being more self-centred than child centred, and by a failure to understand and recognize the child’s effort to gain autonomy. Harshness is characterized by being abrupt with the child and calling the child names.

These findings did not fully back earlier research showing a direct association between a mother’s neuroticism and her harsh intrusive parenting. There is much less research on fathers ,and the results of earlier research on paternal neuroticism and harsh parenting are inconclusive – some finds a link, some does not.

This suggests more research is needed on fathers, which could lead to a similar recommendation as for mothers: when services find a father prone to neuroticism, the mother should be given help to be a supportive coparent.

The post Mothers prone to anxiety are more likely to be harsh parents if the father is not supportive appeared first on Child and Family Blog.

Positive coparenting leads to more father involvement and more father involvement leads to positive coparenting. It is chicken-and-egg.

We know from both research and real–life experience that there is a link between the father-mother relationship and how involved the father is in caring for his child. When couples coparent well – working as a team with good communication and valuing and respecting each other’s role – fathers tend to be more involved in caring for their children. Though it’s challenging, positive coparenting can continue even after a romantic relationship has ended or if the parents live apart.

Parenting is part of a family system. Every relationship influences every other relationship. For example, the quality of a couple’s relationship influences fathering over time.

Because these things tend to go together, researchers have asked the chicken-and-egg question: what comes first? Does positive coparenting lead to more father involvement or does more father involvement lead to positive coparenting?

In recent research from the USA, mothers and fathers in 3,464 couples were asked at three different times to assess the quality of coparenting and the extent of father involvement – when the child was one, three, and five. The researchers then applied a sophisticated statistical analysis to find links.

They found that both coparenting and father involvement at one point in a child’s life predict more of each other at a later time point, with some interesting details.

Better coparenting predicts more father involvement later

If either the mother or father reported better coparenting at one time point, then both parents reported more father involvement at the next time point. However, the link between a mother’s report of coparenting and a father’s later report of involvement, and vice versa, was only found for resident couples. The researchers speculate that perhaps non-residence is a barrier between effective coparenting and later father involvement in care.

More father involvement predicts better coparenting later

If either the mother or father reported more father involvement at one point, then both parents reported more positive coparenting at the next point. There was one exception: When fathers reported they were more involved when the child was one year old, mothers were on average less likely to report positive coparenting two years later. One possible explanation for this is that fathers are overestimating the level of their involvement, and this lack of agreement between the parents may later lead to a less favourable assessment of coparenting on the mother’s part.

This research builds on earlier evidence of influences in both directions. Studies have shown that when mothers do not support coparenting, fathers engage less with their infants. Positive coparenting is also a robust predictor of nonresident fathers’ future involvement. Similarly, there is evidence that when fathers are more involved in caring, their relationship with the child’s mother is better.

The new research from the USA involved, 3,464 couples; 42% of the fathers were black, 28% were white and 25% were Hispanic. The study focused primarily on unmarried couples in large American cities. Between the first measurement (child one year old) and third measurement (age five), the quality of couple relationships declined overall. The proportion of coresident couples dropped from 65% to 50%, and the proportion of parents in a romantic relationship dropped from 40% to 18%. Also over this period, the level of father involvement dropped off, according to both mothers and fathers.

Coparenting was measured by asking each parent questions like “does the mother/father support the way you want to raise your child?”, “does the mother/father talk with you about problems with raising your child?” and “does the mother/father respect your rules for the child?”. Father involvement was measured by asking about activities like reading/telling stories, playing inside the house and singing with the child.

The post Positive coparenting between mother and father is linked to strong father involvement in caring appeared first on Child and Family Blog.

The coparenting study contributes to our growing understanding of how complex family systems operate, with different relationships influencing each other.

When parents work well together as a team – known as “coparenting” – fathers tend to be more involved in caring for the children, according to a new study of disadvantaged parents in the USA. 

It is easy to understand why positive coparenting could promote more father engagement, and why more father engagement could promote a better parental relationship. This finding suggests that when it comes to help with raising young children, it’s important to support both mothers and fathers. A federal program in the USA, Healthy Marriage and Responsible Fatherhood, which began in 2005, provides exactly this kind of support among low–income families. The study of coparenting and father engagement was part of the evaluation of this program.

Whilst coparenting and father engagement are linked for all fathers in the ‘here and now’, the study also found a link across time. Resident fathers were more likely to beactively involved in care when a child was 36 months old if both the mother and the father reported better coparenting when the child was 15 months old. This link was not found among non-resident fathers, perhaps because their inconsistent presence means that what happens at one time point in the family has less effect on what happens at another.

The link between coparenting and later father involvement was not found in relation to fathers playing more with children—perhaps because fathers may engage in play regardless of the quality of the coparenting relationship with the mother.

In the study, involving 1,908 families, mothers and fathers were interviewed by phone when their child was 15 months old and again when 36 months old. Fathers were classified as resident if they lived with the mother most or all of the time, and non-resident if none or only some of the time. 

Coparenting was measured with ratings like “My child’s other parent and I communicate well about our child” and “I feel good about my child’s other parent’s judgment about what is right for our child.” Both parents’ responses were combined into a single measure of coparenting quality.

Involvement in caring was measured by asking fathers how often they did things like dress and feed the child or change diapers. Engagement in play covered activities such as singing, reading, telling stories and playing games.

The study contributes to our growing understanding of how complex family systems operate, with different relationships influencing each other.

The post Positive coparenting between mothers and fathers is associated with more involvement by fathers in caring for and playing with their children appeared first on Child and Family Blog.