• The transition to fatherhood is accompanied by changes in fathers’ brains and hormones. These changes are probably related to new activities and routines that fathers are involved in and develop.
• These brain-related and hormonal changes are functional: They support fathers’ sensitive responses to their infants’ needs.
• A new study using ultrasound imaging and feedback during pregnancy indicates that positive father-child interactions can get a head start before birth.

The birth of a child is the birth of a father

The birth of the first child marks the transition to fatherhood in men’s lives. This is a developmental milestone, a new phase in adult life with unfamiliar tasks and responsibilities. The transition is more striking for most men who become fathers now than it was for their fathers and grandfathers.

Today, fathers in Western, industrialized countries are much more actively involved in child care than fathers were: a three- to six-fold increase in time over what their own fathers typically did. How are men prepared for the life-changing event of becoming a father?

Hormonal changes in new fathers

The changes in hormonal levels in women who go through pregnancy and give birth are unparalleled. These are necessary for housing and feeding a new human being. In the transition to fatherhood, men also undergo hormonal changes, although they are not as significant as those women experience.

From around four weeks before the birth of their first child to around five weeks after birth, men’s testosterone, vasopressin, and cortisol levels decrease, and their oxytocin levels slightly increase. These hormones are involved in many activities.

Photo: Tim Mossholder. Unsplash.

Testosterone is relevant when we are daring and competitive, vasopressin makes us alert, cortisol helps us respond to unexpected situations and is high when we are under stress, and oxytocin is well known as the love hormone but has more functions: It helps us recognize social signals, such as others’ emotions. These hormonal changes in fathers can be considered as functional for gentle interaction with and sensitive care for the baby.

The perinatal period

But it could also be the other way around: In the perinatal period, the new activities and routines of fathers may lead to changes in their hormone levels, which in turn support sensitive parenting.

For example, when fathers spend a few evenings a week on the couch cuddling with their baby rather than playing football, their cortisol levels probably decline and their oxytocin levels probably rise. This, in turn, may make them more patient when the baby protests during diaper changes. This idea of caregiving routines leading to change in hormonal levels is supported by new research on fathers’ brains.

Do men’s brains change when they become fathers?

There are (at least) three different ways to study human brains to measure change:

1. Brain structures
2. Activity of brain areas
3. Brain networks

1. Brain structures

The first is to look at brain structures, which can be seen as the hardware of the brain. Two studies found some change in fathers’ brain structures in the first months after the birth of the baby (Kim at al., 2014; Martínez-García et al., 2022), but another study did not find such changes (Hoekzema et al., 2016).

2. Activity of brain areas

The second way to study brains is to look at the activity of brain areas in response to child-related stimuli. Much of this research focuses on the sounds of infants crying because that is such an intense and meaningful sound. In their first period of life, it is the only way babies can attract their parents’ attention when they need something.

The transition to fatherhood is accompanied by changes in behavior, hormones, and the brain.

Indeed, many brain regions are activated when we hear crying sounds. But having children does make a difference: Adults without children show more activity in brain regions involved with cognitive processing when they hear infants crying, while adults with children show more emotional processing (Witteman et al., 2019).

3. Brain networks

While this second type of brain research focuses on separate brain regions, the third type of brain research looks at brain networks. For example, the parental brain network is a system of regions that are supposed to collaboratively support caregiving behavior.

New research shows no differences in this network between fathers during pregnancy and new fathers with a first-born baby of about 2 months, but a remarkable finding for fathers in the postnatal period emerged: The more fathers were involved in their children’s care, the stronger the connectivity in their parental brain network (Horstman et al., 2021). In other words, it does not matter whether or not men have a baby, but it matters how much caretaking they do.

Play helps fathers connect with their babies

Fathers and mothers are both similar and different in the ways they engage with their children. In general, mothers do the lion’s share of caregiving, such as feeding and bathing. When it comes to play, fathers and mothers are more similar in the amount of time they play or read stories with their child. This implies that when fathers and infants interact, it is often in the context of play (Amodia-Bidakowska et al., 2020).

Play is a perfect way for fathers to get to know their child, and to see what they like, what fears they may have, and how they overcome these fears with daddy’s help. This is as rewarding for fathers as it is for children, and it stimulates the attachment relationship (Monteiro et al., 2010).

Positive parenting in fathers starts with prenatal care

We stated earlier that the birth of a child is the birth of a father. Actually, being a parent starts before the birth of the child. Fathers are influential during pregnancy – they affect prenatal development through their own health, and they influence expectant mothers’ mental and physical health.

New research also shows that unborn babies are ready to interact with their fathers. Using ultrasound, we recorded how babies between the 21^st and 32^nd week of pregnancy responded when their fathers softly massaged mothers’ abdomen, read from a children’s book, or sang for their child (De Waal et al., 2022).

Babies can hear voices coming from outside the abdomen and can recognize their father’s voice. They can remember rhythms and music during pregnancy and even after birth when they heard them regularly during pregnancy. As pregnancy progresses, the skin of mothers’ abdomen thins, there is less amniotic fluid, and the babies’ nervous system develops, enabling them to feel and respond to touch.

Fathers’ caretaking of their baby may promote the hormonal and brain changes that support high-quality fathering.

In our research, we offered fathers three sessions with ultrasound-based interaction with their unborn baby. We saw on the screen how the babies responded when their fathers read to them from a children’s book or sang a lullaby. We used video-feedback reviewing of the ultrasound images to help them interpret their babies’ states, responses to the interaction (e.g., thumb sucking when dad read), and own initiatives (e.g., pushing against the wall of mother’s womb).

Fathers who received such prenatal video feedback were more sensitive during play with their babies after birth (Buisman et al., 2022). The video feedback may have made these dads more attuned to their babies, and may have spurred them to habitually check their baby’s face and other signals to adapt their own behavior or pace to the infant’s needs.

How to support new fathers during the prenatal period and after the birth

Fatherhood has many dimensions. The transition to fatherhood is accompanied by changes in behavior, hormones, and the brain. The intensity of these changes depends partly on sociocultural norms and expectations for fathers.

Sometimes fathers feel at a disadvantage: Prenatal and perinatal care is focused on mothers, and fathers can seem to be at some distance. While it would be a great opportunity for medical check-ups to extend the focus of ultrasounds to include possibilities for father-infant interaction, fathers can also create their own moments of togetherness at home, talking to their babies and softly massaging their babies through their partners’ skin. Getting to know each other can start before birth.

Photo: Amina Filkins. Pexels.

Societies with parental leave for fathers stimulate paternal involvement in early child care, giving fathers more opportunities to interact with their babies. In such contexts, changes in brains and hormonal levels will probably be more extensive than in contexts where fathers have few opportunities to be actively involved in child care. Paternal leave enables fathers to develop a relationship with their children from the beginning, which is just one of the arguments for paid paternal leave.

In some families, opportunities for fathers to engage are limited by mothers’ reluctance to trust fathers’ caregiving capacities. Called gatekeeping, this occurs when mothers want to take complete care of the baby themselves. It may be good to realize that fathers can be excellent caregivers, just like mothers, and that fathers’ caretaking of their baby may promote the hormonal and brain changes that support high-quality fathering.

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Fathers have been at home more and have been more available to their children, allowing them to hone play skills that support child development.

More playtime with dad during the COVID-19 pandemic may turn out to be one of the few positives to emerge for children from the virus. It could also serve as some compensation for children’s considerable losses in school learning and access to friends.

Many children may have benefited during this time from the special contribution of playing with fathers to their social, cognitive, and emotional development.

That’s because many fathers have spent more time at home during the pandemic. They have also spent more time caring for their children. While that shift has been particularly pronounced during the pandemic, according to official data, it also reflects a longer-term trend, going back 40 years, of gradually increasing paternal involvement.

On average, fathers spend a higher proportion of their time caring for children than mothers playfully interacting with their children. That share may have shifted during the pandemic, but the amount of time overall that dads spend playing is likely to have risen.

“The pandemic reminds policymakers how jobs can be remodelled to help fathers participate more in their children’s lives.”

Playing with dad helps children develop

Children’s extra playtime with their fathers matters for several reasons. First, when parents spend more time with their children, they strengthen their skills in areas that are crucial to play – understanding what interests children, following their lead, and generally being more sensitive to them. In short, many fathers have become more closely attuned to their children’s play and to the pace at which they learn.

Photo: Mikael Stenberg. Unsplash.

 Learning to be patient and follow a child’s lead can be challenging. Some young children take a long time to learn a new skill for the first time and once they have learned it, may want to perform the new skill again and again. Unattuned adults may wish to rush them, do it for them, or move on to something else.

Second, fathers’ play makes a measurable and considerable difference to outcomes for children. Playing with dad is consistently linked to children being able to learn better and make friendships. More playtime with dads is also associated with less anxiety and fewer behavioral problems for children, who are less likely to get in trouble at school or fight with their peers.

The special quality of fathers’ play

Third, fathers’ play has some special qualities. Typically, it exposes children to a second person who is important in their lives. It also allows children to experience styles of parenting that differ from those demonstrated by their mother. As a result, children are exposed to differences and surprises in a safe environment. This can help them build capacities to manage change and difficulties in relationships.

Focusing too much on dads’ rough and tumble play with their children is unwise. We should avoid making it emblematic of fatherhood. Lots of moms engage in this type of play, too. And many dads can also spend quiet time with their children, sitting with them and cuddling them, and we should not think of this as “un-dad-like” behavior. Nevertheless, rough and tumble play has real value and is an area in which many fathers feel confident.

“One take-home message for fathers is to get stuck in and try to make time to play with their children from the outset.”

Even very young babies benefit from fathers’ play

The skills that fathers bring in playfully exciting young children can benefit not only toddlers but also young babies. In my studies on fathers’ playful interactions with 3-month-olds, fathers’ engagement predicted fewer behavioral problems at 12 months and higher cognitive scores at 2 years.

It’s important that dads understand these findings because some may lack confidence in and feel reticent about caring for their babies. They – and others – may subscribe to the mistaken view that dads’ impact on children’s lives begins later. We also need to fight the mistaken cultural belief that very young babies don’t notice much about what’s happening around them. After 20 years doing child development research, I know that babies have a great capacity to notice and learn from very early in their lives.

What should dads do?

One take-home message for fathers is to get stuck in and try to make time to play with their children from the outset. Fathers can bring something important to their children, even and perhaps especially when they are very young. Dads might not feel confident at first, but they shouldn’t worry: They should just play and, with practice, they will get better at it. I advise fathers to try a range of activities beyond rough-and-tumble play. It’s also okay for fathers to sit quietly with a toy or a book and just snuggle up with their children. At least some of time, dads should slow down, follow their child’s lead, and play at their pace.

Photo: Humphrey Muleba. Unsplash.

The pandemic has introduced stresses that can undermine play. When people are stressed, the focus of their attention narrows so they attend less well to their relationships. We have seen this shift in studies of the impact depression in fathers — there was a reduction in the surprises that fathers typically built into play with their children, who were subsequently exposed to a narrower range of play. So, as COVID-19’s effects continue, we should be mindful to protect parents’ mental health.

Overall, the pandemic highlights the important role of fathers in child development. The past year should help policymakers recognize how jobs can be remodelled to help fathers participate more in their children’s lives. It also reminds family service practitioners to emphasize, facilitate, and capitalize on the assets that fathers, as well as mothers, can bring to their children from the earliest ages.

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The overall sensitivity of the fathers during play in this sample of 312 families – 119 African American fathers and 193 Latino fathers – was high.

A research study focusing on low-income Latino and African American fathers in the USA has found a correlation between how sensitively they play with their preschool children and their children’s math achievement scores in kindergarten. This correlation exists irrespective of the level of mothers’ sensitive support for these children.

The researchers’ combined various aspects into their measure of sensitive play:following the child’s lead in what the child wants to play with, responding positively to the child’s behaviors and language, and helping the child when needed. 

Overall in this sample of 312, fathers’ sensitivity during play was high. In all the families selected for the research, the father lived in the child’s home. (This means the research is not fully representative of fathers’ contributions in all family formations.)

The correlation was found between sensitive play and kindergarten math achievement only; there was no correlation with reading achievement.

According to the researchers, “Early childhood intervention programs focused on parenting skills too often focus almost exclusively on mothers and neglect the importance of involving fathers.” They argue that the results of this play study show that supporting fathers can lead to better academic achievement at school. But they caution that “involving fathers in early childhood programs will require innovative delivery models that accommodate the needs and preferences of fathers.”

Much research shows a link between preschool parenting and early school academic achievement. Parental sensitivity can buffer the negative effects of the kinds of risks that are more prevalent in the environments where many ethnic minority families live. 

The great majority of research on this link focuses on mothers, but evidence is growing that fathers also play an important role. The role of a father is particularly important when the mother is unsupportive of the children: supportive fathering is associated with higher school readiness in children whose mothers are unsupportive.

One problem in the research is that measures of parental sensitivity tend to be designed to capture how mothers care for children. Such measures may not capture important aspects of how fathers interact with their children. On average, observations show, fathers care for their children differently from mothers, with more teasing, more physical play and risk taking, and the use of more challenging language.

The deficit in research regarding fathers is even stronger in relation to ethnic minority fathers. Some research adopts a ‘deficit perspective’, focusing on the problems of ethnic minority fatherhood such as father absence. Yet research shows generally high levels of father contribution: one study found that two–thirds of fathers in a racially diverse study read to their toddler at least once a week.

To understand parenting in ethnic minority families, we must take into account the environmental conditions that such families experience—for example, high rates of poverty and confronting racism and prejudice. Such environmental factors can require a different parenting approach to prepare the child for a different world. For example, the “no nonsense” parenting style seen in some African American families may be a necessary protective factor for the children and can be associated with high levels of warmth.

In this research project, involving 119 African American and 193 Latino fathers (mostly Mexican), the children were observed and videoed at play, first with their fathers and then their mothers. When the child was 2.5 years old, each parent was given three bags with toys in them to open and play with their child over 15 minutes. This process was repeated when the child was 3.5 years old (but with only two bags and for only 10 minutes). Later, in kindergarten, the child was tested for academic achievement in both math and language.

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The coparenting study contributes to our growing understanding of how complex family systems operate, with different relationships influencing each other.

When parents work well together as a team – known as “coparenting” – fathers tend to be more involved in caring for the children, according to a new study of disadvantaged parents in the USA. 

It is easy to understand why positive coparenting could promote more father engagement, and why more father engagement could promote a better parental relationship. This finding suggests that when it comes to help with raising young children, it’s important to support both mothers and fathers. A federal program in the USA, Healthy Marriage and Responsible Fatherhood, which began in 2005, provides exactly this kind of support among low–income families. The study of coparenting and father engagement was part of the evaluation of this program.

Whilst coparenting and father engagement are linked for all fathers in the ‘here and now’, the study also found a link across time. Resident fathers were more likely to beactively involved in care when a child was 36 months old if both the mother and the father reported better coparenting when the child was 15 months old. This link was not found among non-resident fathers, perhaps because their inconsistent presence means that what happens at one time point in the family has less effect on what happens at another.

The link between coparenting and later father involvement was not found in relation to fathers playing more with children—perhaps because fathers may engage in play regardless of the quality of the coparenting relationship with the mother.

In the study, involving 1,908 families, mothers and fathers were interviewed by phone when their child was 15 months old and again when 36 months old. Fathers were classified as resident if they lived with the mother most or all of the time, and non-resident if none or only some of the time. 

Coparenting was measured with ratings like “My child’s other parent and I communicate well about our child” and “I feel good about my child’s other parent’s judgment about what is right for our child.” Both parents’ responses were combined into a single measure of coparenting quality.

Involvement in caring was measured by asking fathers how often they did things like dress and feed the child or change diapers. Engagement in play covered activities such as singing, reading, telling stories and playing games.

The study contributes to our growing understanding of how complex family systems operate, with different relationships influencing each other.

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Play with dad could help bridge cognitive, social and emotional learning gaps among low-income children.

Please can we stop telling fathers just to pay for their children? They’re more than walking wallets. We should also emphasise that spending time with children and playing is just as important for early childhood development. That’s because play by fathers can have special, often irreplaceable qualities. Sometimes dad’s way of playing involves a bit of magic and fun that can transform lives, particularly for disadvantaged children.

So it’s a mistake to demand that fathers work round the clock — perhaps for just $7 an hour — and fail to offer them support to spend time with children. That’s especially true if the kids are asleep when dad gets home and there’s no time to just hang out or play.

The case for ‘play and pay’ contributing to early childhood development is particularly strong for low-income dads—and not only because the cash benefits of work are low. It’s also because the returns from playing with dad can be particularly significant for lower-income children, who may be a risk of doing poorly at school.

Our research shows how these dads try to square the circle of paying and playing. In one family, the father, working three low-wage jobs, would wake up his toddler late at night when he got home so they could play for an hour or two. Otherwise they wouldn’t have had time together from one Sunday to the next. The child was tired the next day, but this was the only way the father saw to manage his responsibilities both to support his child financially and to spend time with her.

“Rough and tumble with dad is associated with learning to regulate emotions and manage social relationships. Dads pose more questions … boosting vocabulary, language and verbal reasoning.”

Three factors explain why it’s vital that public policy makers prioritise fathers playing with their young children. First, play is important for children per se in the early years. That’s why it underpins institutional practice and curricula – play is recognised as a foundation of cognitive development as well as social and emotional learning. So if play is at the heart of early learning, it should also be a focus of parenting, whether by mothers or fathers.

Social and emotional learning

Second, research shows that play with dad can deliver elements of child development that mom might not offer as much or as often. For example, the rough and tumble with dad is associated with learning how to regulate emotions and manage social relationships. This learning is then transferred to peer relationships and is vital for a successful adult life.

Cognitive development

Fathers can also act as challenging communication partners for children from an early age, aiding cognitive development. They tend to speak to their children differently from the way mothers do. Dads pose more questions that require conversation. They particularly use wh-questions, such as ‘what, why, who, when’. These types of questions encourage complex responses from children, boosting their vocabulary and language. Such skills can then provide pathways for enhanced development of verbal reasoning.

These two factors, perhaps, are reason enough for rethinking advice to and support for fathers around play. But the third factor should be a clincher for policy makers who seek to reduce poverty’s impact on early childhood development.

Photo: Shutterstock

Father play is a promising place to start in any quest to break the link between poverty in childhood and impoverished education and learning. That’s because some, though not all, low income dads are extremely good at the challenging wh-question communications which so benefit children’s cognitive development. They can also be very good at the rough and tumble play that support children’s social and emotional learning. Indeed, in play, some low-income fathers are at least as competent as some of the most able middle-class fathers. Many low-income dads are invested and motivated to make sure their children have the best chance to achieve a good life.

This is good news for policy makers and social scientists who wish to bridge the stubborn cognitive development gap between low- and higher-income children that emerges even before kindergarten.

We know some causes of the cognitive development gap, such as less access to educational resources and lower educational achievement among parents with low incomes. They can be summed up as ‘lower human capital’. It’s often difficult to boost the levels of human capital among lower-income families, at least in the short term. But there is also tremendous variability – many low-income dads and moms provide high quality support for their children to ensure their optimal development.

Child development in low-income families

Not all low-income families are toxically poor. They have capacities to mitigate the effects of poverty on children’s cognitive development so the next generation has a real opportunity to thrive educationally. For example, a capacity for influential ‘father play’ exists in many disadvantaged families and when mobilised, the evidence shows, can be important for early childhood development. But this capacity can also easily be squandered amid today’s limiting public narratives and policy approaches to fatherhood. These tend to promote an erroneous attitude that playing with dad is marginal to child development and insignificant beside a father’s central role – to work and provide income for his children.

“If fathers are going to ‘pay and play’, we must rethink how ‘responsible’ dads are defined and how they should be supported.”

So what is to be done? First, fathers should understand that they have skills and responsibilities to play in particular ways with their children. They should also know that the way they engage with their children matters for their social, emotional and cognitive development. The particularity of their input means that it’s not a responsibility they can pass to mothers, other siblings or outsiders. They have something special to offer early childhood development through play. If they don’t use it, then their children might lose it.

Policy can support play with fathers

Policy has to change, too. It is hard to legislate for play. But policy makers can tell fathers, their partners and the public some facts from well-established research about early childhood development. And they can provide opportunities for father play. They can also offer policies and programs that include parental leave when a child is born or when a father needs time off work to attend to his child’s needs.

If the authorities insist, for example, that dads pay child support after parental breakups, but visitation time is not universally built in, then they’re letting the children down. If Head Start talks only about moms, it diminishes fathers’ opportunities to do a good job. All of this has implications about how, for example, leave arrangements for fathers are structured and how early years services are delivered. If fathers are going to ‘pay and play’, we must rethink how ‘responsible’ dads are defined and how they should be supported.Policymakers should ensure that fathers have the supports they need to develop positive relationship with their children: coparenting support, parental leave, flextime, and ensuring that when parents are separated they both learn to coparent positively and in ways that are beneficial to children.Ensure that programs reach out to fathers, too, not just mothers. Often when we say parents, we mean mothers. Programs should develop different strategies and reaching out strategies for fathers – saying to moms “your husband/partner is welcome” is not the same thing as saying “you, as the father of xx, needs to be here… your partner/wife is also welcome”.

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